quotable quotes.. from mikeysfunnies

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. -- George Carlin

Love your enemies; it will drive them nuts. -- Eleanor Doan

For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.-- Johnny Carson

A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit. -- In the August 1993 issue, page 9, of PS magazine, the Army's magazine of preventive maintenance

The only difference between me and a madman is that I am not mad. -- Salvador Dali

Sacred cows make the best hamburger.-- Mark Twain

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."-- Charlie Brown, "Peanuts" [Charles Schulz]

I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.-- A Bit of Fry and Laurie

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right. -- Ashleigh Brilliant

Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.-- Dave Barry

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. -- A. Whitney Brown

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.-- William James

We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it--and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again, and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.-- Mark Twain

Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.-- F.P. Jones

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.-- Douglas Adams, Last Chance to See

One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar.--Helen Keller