Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Nov & Dec 2010 have passed at light speed

and the holidays are almost over. OMG!

Definitely the holidays have been better for me as a time to recuperate from the struggles of 2010. Torn between getting sufficient rest and doing all the things I have been missing out on doing in the very busy 2010.

One thing I am happy about is that I managed to get my scrap engine re-started. Partly due to agreeing to design for Scraplicious, I really needed to put in my heart and soul into SB. Luckily for me, I've not totally lost my abilities in creating stuff after the long hiatus.

My designs at Scraplicious:

Tea Tray using acrylic paper trays and Basic Grey Curio collection. There is another version using Graphic 45 Le Romantique but I've stupidly forgot to take photos before submitting.

House of Memories, using Websters' Pages Waiting for Santa / Sweet Season 6x6 paper pack and Crafty Secrets little folding house. I think my photos do not do the piece justice!!!! Always so hard to get good photos of a 3D project.

Random layouts. Detailed cutting on Websters for the 1st 3, got sian and decided to go for simple on the last 2.

More things to complete by the end of holidays: 2011 organizer, Juan's wedding angpow box and ROM album, (hopefully) room hanger for S and Z, finish up class projects.

On the home front, Pau has been getting more and more mischevious and cheeky. She is really testing her boundaries with whining, climbing the grilles, struggling, refusing to sleep argh. She even ran across the expo hall during Robinson's sale, not caring that I was not chasing her!!! OMG!! But she is also getting cuter by the day, cracking us up even when angry with her. She is SUCH a cute puff!!!!

Sophie gets prettier and more 小姐 each day!! She will even pause to POSE for photos when the camera is aimed at her! LOL. We have toilet trained her for day time, a nerve wrecking process especially when bringing her out without diaper.. Need to constantly ask her whether she needs toilet, and scramble to get to toilet when she asks for it eg. on a drive!! She is also getting more mature and able to reason with her. Although she still has tantrums, I feel its easier to calm her and make her listen now. She is also getting more daring in play (eg. climbing up the "networks" in playground).

Lastly, I got myself dyed hair and a new haircut. Fringe for the first time in ages! Needs getting used to again. Also bought iPhone 4, finally, after a super long saga over 3-4 days. =)

Sunday, November 07, 2010

long overdue scrappiness

scrappiness = happiness

long overdue.

accumulated may-nov 2010.
and yes, that's all i did in 6 months.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010


Seems like every time I've blogged this year, its only to complain and vent frustrations. Nothing else could possibly give me the motivation to, since I've hardly any time to eat / breathe / sleep - only a state of high "pek chek" ness would make me re open this fusty dashboard to rant.

Everybody wants a piece of me bigger than I have to give, can't you see I am already at the end of my rope.

Students skip pre arranged lessons, sms me as late as possible so I can't possibly chase them down, so that they can see me one to one, HELLO, I have 30 remedial students leh, HOW CAN I POSSIBLY SEE YOU ALL INDIVIDUALLY?? Might as well say, we should not have tutorial lessons, or worse still lecture sessions, every one of your teachers should just see you and you alone for lesson!! How about that for a good time??? Isn't that the point of typing out a schedule for you beforehand (you think schedules fall from heaven?! They take my PLANNING and TIME) so that YOU can plan YOUR TIME and I can address the common issues together!! It makes it really hard for me to believe each of your reasons each time the SAME PEOPLE cook up a different excuse not to be around for every session. Whatever.

Maybe I should just give up and let go, heck care about making up for those who are not around for lessons. Unfortunately, I am too bothered, not confident enough that these students can score well in the end. I mean, come on, will I ask you to see me if I am certain you are able to score?? YOUR A levels, not mine, come on!! Maybe I should start treating you like you treat me, as a last minute afterthought. "Not here for remedial? OK lor. Never do homework? OK lor. Don't do well for exams? OK lor, what did you want me to do about it??"

And stop whining to me about how busy you are, I shouldn't ask you to do X, Y, Z.. Come on, you think I am more free?? I HATE it when people whine. To shut you up, I'd rather just take the work on myself. Save myself the time of getting whined to, and then subsequently complained about. Whatever. I HATE cleaning up peoples' messes when they can just 拍拍屁股走了。 Be responsible for yourself, CAN?? You have commitments, don't I too?? You have other things to do, I have AT LEAST DOUBLE THAT AMOUNT, you know? Yet you expect me to pick up the pieces and you stand on the sidelines and don't get your hands dirty at all. Worst of all, I KNOW that I will never be sided with, I will be found to be in the wrong no matter how anything turns out. Others do not do their work properly, it must be because I did not instruct / guide them. Others do and its substandard, well, it must be up to me to pick up the pieces, guess what, they get the credit for doing it along with me. Others do and its up to standard, of course, its nothing to do with me. I do and its up to standard I thought is enough, sorry, no, my standard is sucky in your eyes. Must do another higher standard even though, wow, I am JUST told that this is what is required. I need to do more than anyone else, stay longer than anyone else, anyone can be excused but me.

If I'm sick, I pop a Panadol (my new best friend) and work anyway. Can't afford not to, too many remedials / consults / admin / meetings / discussions, if I'm away for 1 day, it takes me 4 days to make up that 1 day of work undone. If I ask others to help me settle things, I am irresponsible, but its perfectly fine for others to do the same to me. Students take up all my time from 7.30am (sometimes 6.30am) till sometimes 8pm, admin and whatever other work comes AFTER that, and sometimes after tuition, what kind of life is this?? My workday in school starts at 6.30am, my workday #2 as a mummy starts whatever time I get home till whatever time the kids sleep, my workday #3 doing admin starts at whatever time the girls sleep till whatever time I need to clear enough work that I am not suffocated the next day. Usually 1am, sometimes later. Sometimes the entire night long. Finish work?? That is not possible. I'm just delaying my own inevitable drowning.

So goes a typical day:
0545: Out of bed.
0630: Reach school.
0630-0730: Sometimes start seeing students. Sometimes an hour of relative peace and quiet (if no one notices I'm around and comes around with questions or stuff for me to settle) to start on Things That Must Be Done Today.
0730-1900: Consultations, remedials, meetings, discussions. Eating time and toilet time optional.
1900-2030: Wrap up whatever Things That Must Be Done Today need doing.
2030-2100: Drive home
2100-2200: Entertain kids till they sleep
2200-xxxx: Finish off Things That Must Be Done Today and start on or continue Things That Must Be Done Tomorrow.

Repeat everyday from Monday to Friday. On weekends, extend 0630-0730 slot to whatever time needed to complete Things That Certainly Must Be Done By This Weekend. Replace next timeslot with Entertain Kids, extend timeslot to 2200. Continue after 2200 with Things That Must Be Done By Monday And Didn't I Already Tell You You Should Have Started Earlier.

Saturday, September 04, 2010

One day I took a one hour spin through ION

Chad clog in Tan, Rubi Shoes

Bomber jacket a la Stradivarius and Bershka

Bag(sssssssssss), Accessorize

Stole from Uniqlo (I mean, I want a scarf [also known as a stole].. NOT I steal from them)

Creamy Concealer kit in Honey and Touch Up Stick in Warm Natural, and Denim Rose palette, all Bobbi Brown

Lust of the eyes man.

In the end, I bought..

Shu Uemura: Stage Performer Instant Glow and Signs Off

for my mum's birthday.

Efficient shopper I am.. to look through so many stores at one go!!

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Life nowadays

seriously sucks.

Working 12-15 hours on weekday at least, rushing back to spend time with kids before they sleep (if I can even make it back home by then), working AGAIN after that.

Weekends continue working on whatever time is not filled up by having to look after kids.

All those things I have to do other than these 2 (spending time with my mum, even cg and prayer meetings), I am so tempted to NOT do because I am just so tired. My body is there, but my mind is not.

Usher - I truly enjoy but I can barely even make it to duty once a month. Sometimes, if suay, even that once a month is gone. Honestly, I feel like stepping down, the only thing stopping me is that if I do quit, I will never get to restart. Selfishly holding on to the last part of my life that resembles the old me.

No such thing as "me" time - shopping, movies, scrapping = forget it. Too low on my priority list. Even if I've free time, it is in few minutes blocks at the wee hours of the morning, how to do anything??

I can't imagine life like this for the next however (n) many years of my working life (omg.. at least another 30 years more to go).
Worst of all is that at least 30% of this stress is completely unnecessary.

Anyway no matter how much I do, I'm too slow / I don't spend enough time / I am not careful / I am not respected / I am not WHATEVER lah. Basically, I am just not good enough. Which majorly pisses me off because I KNOW I am not a slacker and I am dying trying already.

How I wish I can drop everything and spend all my time just doing what I like - unfortunately, I don't have that option. As always in my life, I am too slow to move, someone else has taken on the "can enjoy life" position before me, I've to settle for the "slog my guts out" position instead.

I feel damn selfish to say this but how I wish for time to do my own stuff and enjoy myself. Spend money on relaxing without a care in the world. Not having every minute of my day filled up with responsibility and things I MUST do. With the additional "sword" hanging over my head that I CANNOT lose my job no matter how things go.

I mean seriously.. Do you really think I ENJOY living like this??
Do you understand? Do you appreciate?

Sounds so super mid-life crisis. Sucks.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

She does not remember

S was going through the pile of photos on my table when she came to one with Dad in it, she was able to identify everyone in the picture except Gong Gong.

I asked her if she remembers Gong Gong, she shook her head.

For myself, my earliest memory is probably at the age of about 2 and a half - I'd just been toilet trained, and was running to make it to the toilet. Didn't make it though and sat down and peed right in the corridor of our flat.

Seeing that Dad passed on just before Sophie turned 2, the rational part of me tells me that I shouldn't expect her to remember.

But the emo part can't believe that it has taken her such a short while to forget =(

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Submerged + Resurfaced

Reason for submerging:
Work, work and more work for the past month or so, no time at all to sleep, eat, or breathe most days. Literally every waking moment save for those that coincide with the kids'. Sleep is optional, proper meals even more so. I can't even begin to explain the craziness - except to trench buddies (read: in the same longkang). Ugh.

Reason for resurfacing:
To record down Sophie's too-cute conversation in the car today:

Me: Sophie, is Mummy pretty?
S: Yes, pretty. Your dress is pretty.
S: Papa is not pretty.
Me: Of course Papa is not pretty, he is a man.
S: Not a man, a boy!
Me: A man!!! A man is a grown up boy!
S: No, a boy, he is not an uncle.

Thursday, June 03, 2010

June To Do List

#1: Catch up with friends - I need to touch base with some people I've not met for ages. Being realistic, that would translate to about 1 outing per week with friends.

#2: Revamp my wardrobe - Again, being realistic, I am probably not going to be able to fit into my pre-baby clothes any time in the near future, seeing as the last 5kg of baby fats seem to be be permanently settled all over my body. So I need to buy new clothes to not look so frumpy anymore.. this ties in with aim #3:

#3: Check out the new shopping malls in Orchard! No better time than during the GSS right? Just goes to show how "ulu" I am, on Monday I stepped out from Bugis to the roadside and went "Wah, why so many lights one!" Erm, I was facing Iluma which I never knew was there *shamefaced.
Anyway this fits in really nicely with #1 and #2 *defensive* - I've not been to parts of Orchard for more than 6 months la.

#4: Clear out stuff - clothes cabinet, shoe cabinet, kids cabinets, scrapbooking stuff.

#5: Do some decoration of the kids' room. Maybe get them a new mattress, as there is only 1 mattress in the room at the moment.

#6: Rebond hair. Maybe dye a little.

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

Trick A' Treat April GDT

I had the privilege of being invited by Dorcas to be Trick A' Treat GDT for April. Although it may not be my best works ever, but I really appreciated the motivation to immerse myself in something I enjoy. Else, most of the time, I would just spend moping around.. Thanks to Dorcas, I think she thought along that line too.. she believed in my "scrapping power" (LOL) when I did not believe in myself anymore.

The GDT kit items were a mix of Jenni Bowlin, MME, Lily Bee Designs, Basic Grey, as well as Delight Fabric thickers from American Crafts. The colour tones were red, cream, pale green, pale blue and pink.

Aside from these items that came with the GDT kit, I made heavy use of Studio Calico's stamps, border punches, Prima crystals, Hamblys Overlays and three-D roses. Brandless brads and ribbons too (Daiso I love you!) And distress inking, inking, inking all the way.

I made a mini album using Basic Grey chipboard, which was hanging on a stand altered from 2 biscuit containers and a chopstick (*finally had my revenge on the chopstick, it was "single" for a very long time and irritated me no end because I couldn't find its partner!)

I thought for a long time about the theme of the mini album. There wasn't a happy thought in my head over the past few months but I decide to make something commemorating the everyday things I am thankful for. And it did make me feel happier and more grateful about life. =)

All right, done with the sneaks, here are the pics of the album proper.

In the beginning.. Crackle painted, distress inked and stickled the edges. Left them hanging on the towel rack to dry..

Cover page:
Inner pages:
By the time I got to the end of the album, there were not enough space left and I ended up with a list of things squeezed on the back page. Nice. =)

Back cover:

Hanging on the stand:
This is called.. O.T.T (over the top!!!!) Lots of fabric, laces, ribbons, paper strips, 7Gypsies gaffer tape, big and small roses, paper cutouts from Basic Grey Wisteria (loves) and the 3D bird perched on the chopstick.