Monday, February 28, 2005
Saturday, February 26, 2005
~ waking up to a sky that is already light and not having to hurry anywhere (for a while at least)
~ eating a full and leisurely breakfast with my mum
~ blogging to my heart's content
~ actually reading beyond the headlines of the day's paper
~ throwing squeaky toys for my baby-darling-squishy-doggy Scampy to chase
~ doing home hair treatments and face masks
~ slowly puttering around my room arranging stuff
Time, that rare and precious commodity, is the essence; for I find that when I have a day or half to spend, on my own, at my pleasure and leisure, I am the happiest. But then again, it is precious precisely because of its rarity.
I love my life. =)
I love Your house / It's where Your glory dwells / I love Your house / A place filled with miracles / It's where people come into Your love / Yes I'm gonna tell the world / How awesome is this place.
Friday, February 25, 2005
And yes, though random. I like the phrase 'kiam chye mia'. AHAHAHAHAHAHA I am sooooooo evil. Sorry all, I am not referring to YOU, even if you think you know who you are.
Again! ah ming loves you too!
Your Love Number is
Thursday, February 24, 2005
It kick-starts your day, forces you into 'up-and-enthu' mode and increases your productivity.
I'm just back from taking a morning lab, and I feel so much more energetic and ready-to-work (haha, and blog) than if I hadn't had lessons. Yay yay!
Chen4 wo3 xin1 xue4 lai2 chao2 de shi2 hou4, i'll blog as much as I can! =)
I am really happy with duty during Pst Ulf's conference yesterday.
No doubt, there were many mistakes I still made, and plenty of things I could have improved; Yet, what I'm happiest about is that yesterday, I slew some giants in terms of my mindset and attitude.
I've always been a person who isn't too confident of my own abilities and can seldom think on my feet or handle too many issues at one time. Hall traffic is a position that encompasses both of these requirements and so for the longest time, I'd always had a fear of taking on hall traff on my own. Gradually, I came to be able to manage hall traff for simple, normal services, but the thought of taking hall traffic for conferences, especially confs like Pst Ulf, still left me cold on my feet. Every time a conference duty list is read out, I'd pray very hard that it would not be me who 'kena' hall traff.
I swear to you, my dear blogders, that from the day before, when I knew my position, my entire being was permeated with nervousness. It definitely increased my stress level, but it was GOOD - because it made me increase my preparedness and shattered all my complacency. From early in the morning, during my free periods, I spent my time visualizing, planning for and praying over my duty - as Pst Kong always says- if you see it, you can have it!
And it worked! As I prayed over my duty, and visualized the flow of people into the hall, although I was still panicky, I knew what to do. Don't laugh; I literally wrote down everything I had to do on a piece of paper and carried it around the entire day. But my H4 duty went much smoother than expected, and at the end of the day, I realise I have lost my fear of doing conference H4. Of course, I have plenty to improve on. But the stumbling block in my mind has been cast down, and I believe I have fought a good fight. I've faced a challenge and conquered it. Bring it on; I'm ready to rise up to a new challenge. Yeah!
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
Quotes from "Shall We Dance":
"We need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet... I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things... all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness'."
So true and so romantic. ;)
Awwwww.... almost enough to make me wistful.
Your Seduction Style: The Coquette
You are a pro at playing the age old game of hard to get.
Your flirting style runs hot and cold, giving just enough to keep them chasing you.
Independent and self-sufficient, you don't need any one person to make you compelte.
And that independence is exactly what makes people pursue you.
Your Brain is 73.33% Female, 26.67% Male
Your brain leans female
You think with your heart, not your head
Sweet and considerate, you are a giver
But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!
How Your Attitude Ranks
Your Attitude is Better than 65% of the Population
If you scored...
80-100: You've got a winner attitude. You're always optimistic and cheery. Your personality will get you far in life.
60-79: You have a good attitude. While a realist, you do see the positive side of most things. People love to be around you.
40 - 59: You have a positive attitude... somtimes. You prefer to see the world through clear glasses, not rose colored ones.
20 - 39: You have an average attitude. You take the good and bad in life as they come. Though sometimes you could use a little more good.
0-19: You have a negative attitude. You tend to see the dark side of every situation. Free ice cream? No thanks, it will just make you fat!
|You are 67% Virgo|
|You are 67% Sagittarius|
Hah! I'm more saggi than virgo? It just means that horoscopes don't work.
Rock of Ages, cleft for me,
Let me hide myself in Thee;
Let the water and the blood,
From Thy wounded side which flowed,
Be of sin the double cure;
Save from wrath and make me pure.
Not the labor of my hands
Can fulfill Thy law's demands;
Could my zeal no respite know,
Could my tears forever flow,
All for sin could not atone;
Thou must save, and Thou alone.
Nothing in my hand I bring,
Simply to the cross I cling;
Naked, come to Thee for dress;
Helpless, look to Thee for grace;
Foul, I to the fountain fly;
Wash me, Savior, or I die.
While I draw this fleeting breath,
When my eye-strings break in death,
When I soar to worlds unknown,
See Thee on Thy judgment throne,
Rock of Ages, cleft for me,
Let me hide myself in Thee.
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Sunday, February 20, 2005
The next long blogs will probably come after i manage to wander out of LectureNotesLand.
Quickie updates on my life:
~ i'll be lecturing for the next two weeks. Bite me at your peril.
~ tiffany's baby will be a boy! one of the names she's considering is Kaden. How do YOU pronounce that? Kay-den or Kah-denn? I mean, being the kopitiam ahlian wannabe I am, the first thing that comes to mind is Kah-DENN lor. then what, call the second child Ah-THEN? And then after that Ar-But-Then?
~ i took green pictures with daniel today! Yay yay! Yew Tee Gang Green Day! =P I mean, how silly I am lah. Two people in green shirts, holding green bulletins and posing against the green carpark floor. Will stick up pics when I am un-lazy enough.
Back to my lecture notes!
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
I AM ALIVE.
mwahahahahahaha. Can you feel the heartbeat?? It's ahming suffocating in LectureNotesLand!
But! I do still read all my friends' blogs, and thus I know that iYi has changed blogskin twice in as many days, Jan is doing her mental puking over in her corner (good on ya, girl!) and cK's posted stuff I agree with (amazing!). See, a characteristic of living things is the ability to PERFORM ACTIONS - i still, skeletally, move my mouse once in a while! Yay!
Tralala. It's back to the lecture notes! *waves*
See you all in a while! Oh, and if you're bored, go play with my Giant Battle Monsters (scroll down). Wahahaha. I like the one about a giant blob with a Purple Forcefield and Can Change Colour. Total randomness!
Monday, February 14, 2005
Sunday, February 13, 2005
Thinking of Stephen Spender's poem The Truly Great, he emphasized how the world regards those who pursue their own dreams with vivid passion are regarded as "truly great"; in his worldview, those who lived their lives to fulfil their destiny should be lauded more than those who have amassed wealth, fame and fortune but in the doing denied the leanings of their soul.
It's a poem that's inspired me since the age of fifteen.
But yet, I feel that greatness is not only in the actions, it also is in the attitude. Because as much as the world defines "greatness", it can never compare to the way our Lord defines "greatness". Because we never focus on the destination alone, but also on the journey.
As always, attitude is decided in the mind. To be truly great, or as Pastor put it today, to be a "big person", the defining point is your character. Who cares if I never accomplish anything beyond what I have today? To base my worth on my acheivements or my ability to reach the goals I have set for myself would be a worldly and dangerous thing, for accomplishments fade away. It's so true that no one would remember the things you have done a hundred years down the road, but the way you treat people as you do the things you do is the thing that makes an impact. Instead, I must base my striving to be great on the way God defines greatness.
It's such a fantastic message, really, that I have no idea how to even begin talking about it. In a very summarized nutshell, here were the ten points Pastor Kong put forth:
1. Big people are generous. Isa 32:8
2. Big people are accepting of differences. (ie. not petty) Rom 14:1-2
3. Big people forgive and forget easily. 1 Cor 13:5, Isa 43:25
4. Big people empower others to be successful. (ie. do not belittle others to make yourself feel better)
5. Big people don't try to be big people (ie. humility and meekness, which stem from the absolute and certain understanding of your position in Christ) Mk 10:45, Jn 13:3-6
6. Big people treat little people well.
7. Big people listen (ie. take counsel and correction) Prov 1:5
8. Big people honour leadership and accept guidance. Obedience is SO important. (Heb 13:17)
9. Big people respect manners and spatiality. Lk 7:44-46; Lk 14:7-11
10. Big people have a big capacity. (1 Chr 26)
May I begin my wrapup by sharing a verse that came up: "For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted" - Luke 7:11
To me, the chief thread tying all the points together in the sermon is the thread of humilty and meekness and knowing your own position. In order to be able to do so, you must be someone who's absolutely secure in your position - you know where you came from, you know where you are going, and you know your reason for living - truly, you must be strong in order to be meek. Even Jesus Himself did not come to be served but to serve - and He was able to serve with full willingness because He bore the perspective of obedience to His God in mind.
May I learn to be a meek, mild and humble person ever more each day.
Friday, February 11, 2005
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
I am such a wimp, I am. Therefore, I qualify to be Bubbles' cousin. Ahahahaha.
The two of us should go and put together an anti-wimp kit. For starters, let's have:
1. invisible earplugs (invisible because we are still wimps, and don't want to be discovered in our anti-wimp treachery) - so that when our mothers begin to whine and whimper, we can honestly say 'what?' and pretend to ignore them. Hee.
2. Cloned versions of ourselves to take on the menial / time-consuming tasks of Accompanying Relatives, The Dishes, The Ironing and so on and so forth. We could hide the clones in the closet or under the bed. Tralala.
3. More guts. Oh wait, I retract that - it would only add to my less-than-trim waistline. Bubbles can afford it though, skinny bamboo pole that he has always been!
Ok, I am out of creative juices. Bubbles, time for you to read and respond! *winks*
|You Are A Realistic Romantic|
|u are more romantic than 60% of the population.
But you've done a pretty good job keeping perspective.
You're still taken in by love poems and sunsets
You just don't fall for every dreamy pick up line!
|You Have A Type A- Personality|
You are one of the most balanced people around
Motivated and focused, you are good at getting what you want
You rule at success, but success doesn't rule you.
When it's playtime, you really know how to kick back
Whether it's hanging out with friends or doing something you love!
You live life to the fullest - encorporating the best of both worlds
|You Are the Peacemaker|
You are emotionally stable and willing to find common ground with others.
Your friends and family often look to you to be the mediator when there is conflict.
You are easy going and accepting. You take things as they come.
Avoding conflict at all costs, you're content when things are calm.
Okay, this one is just too funny. They have a section called "Best Lines to Pick up Horoscopes with. Just for the fun of it, I clicked on every single one and heeeeeeeere goes:
Virgo: Baby, you must be a broom, 'cause you just swept me off my feet. (LOL! I SO do not wanna be married to a broom! Help! Fortunately, I don't believe in horoscopes, otherwise I'd be clamouring to change my birthdate!)
Libra: If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I'd be walking through my garden forever. (awwwwwww.... but then again, my dear Libran, you'd have to hire a full-time gardener, and would have no time to work for walking through the roses. Hee.)
Scorpio: Your place or mine? (wahahahahaha! Sibeh direct siah!)
Sagittarius: Hi, I'm writing a term paper on the finer things in life. Can I interview you? (whoohoo! The intellectual!)
Capricorn: Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it? (it sounds like an insult in disguise! ahahahahaha!)
Aquarius: You're hot. You must be the reason for global warming. (Oh my gosh, how flat and lame and corny is that!)
Pisces: Are you as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside? (awwwwwwwwwww..)
Aries: I'm on fire. Can I run through your sprinkler? (all together now: HUH? Either this is a really deep Aries, or we are all very shallow.)
Taurus: I just had to come talk with you. Sweetness is my weakness. (goosebumps! goodness! BTW, before I clicked on the link, I was tempted to simply write "I'm a cow, hear me moo; I weigh twice as much as you.." AHAHAHAHAHAHA!)
Gemini: Do you have any overdue library books? 'Cause you've got the word ""fine"" written all over. (Yet another colder-than-cold line. Good grief! Were the writers running out of inspiration or WHAT?)
Cancer: Can I borrow a quarter? I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the person I'm going to marry. (erpz, don't you have a handphone?)
Leo: Is it hot in here, or is it just me? (Leo, quick marry a Scorpio! I think these are e only 2 who can stand the directness!)
Being linguistically intelligent means that you have a knack for using words and language. As a result, you've probably noticed that you have a greater gift for expressing yourself than most people around you. In fact, you might be known in your circle of friends as something of a wordsmith. Whether writing or speaking, you're the type to get your point across with both precision and flair. At times, this can make you a very persuasive communicator. By choosing the right words at the right time, you can clearly express your ideas, thoughts, and feelings to others. This can be a crucial skill in both your professional and personal life.
and the others:
social, mathematical, visual, physical and personal.
Interesting; I always thought there were 9 kinds of intelligences! And though I've never scored myself, I am fairly surprised that my linguistic scores the highest. Though you, my blogders, would probably disagree! Hee!
Monday, February 07, 2005
And, as always, to protect those I am writing about, I throw in vague allegories and smoky allusions. Sheesh. Sometimes I wish I could write blatantly, outrightly and then I remember - I have an accountability to my audience, not only to my own desires. And so I shroud my frustration in voluminous sentences, and drown in my own chiffon. Tralala.
Suffice it to say, however, that to hold accountability over something means that you MUST hold the authority. To have authority without accountability is despotism; the other way around is powerlessness. And powerless was exactly how I felt earlier, as I saw how command after command, comment after comment was studiously promised to and just as easily forgotten. Do I teach in a JC or a kindergarten, anyway??? It sometimes DOES feel like kindergarten, yes! Yikes!
Saturday, February 05, 2005
Gosh, the last time I ws home this early on a Saturday night must have been, like, sometime in the beginning of last YEAR. What a treat it is to enjoy my night of quiet solitude - for my parents, uncle, aunt and cousins are all out - at the funeral, presumably. Perhaps I should be there too? But then again, I guess it's no point rushing down all the way to Toa Payoh at 11pm at night, no?
For those whom I've not quite updated, my father's mother (kind of) passed away on Wednesday. But before the calls / comments of condolences start floating in, may I pre-empt you by saying that I wasn't close to her, and neither was my dad. My grand-dad was from the era where two wives were nothing unusual, and that was the situation in my dad's home. This grandma, I saw her something like once or twice a year during CNY for most of my life. But still, it's kind of strange to see my name in the newspaper once again, as 'xiao4 sun1 nu3' because all the other people I consider my ancestors passed on long ago. No more of the older generation; next in line: my parents and their posse. Yeeks! Morbid and maudlin thoughts, as usual. May my parents live long and be happy! Choi choi choi!
By the way, the perils of being home early on a Saturday night:
I hear two *obviously* blind drunk fellas hollering their lungs out in the MSCP next to my block. Hokkien songs somemore. Sheesh, can I get some eggs from the fridge and throw at them?? Then again, I used up most of my eggs in making my failed-attempt-at-blueberry-muffins. Which are all languishing in the Business Center I suppose. Heh. I just hope someone keeps my container for me!
Oh well. Better luck next time on the muffins.
Tomorrow morning will be the actual funeral for my sort-of-grandmother. And then it will be well and truly over; a generation will have passed away.
yet, i have to learn that everything comes with a price.
and that what they expect from me is every minute of my free time.
and so, my title.
good morning, world.
Thursday, February 03, 2005
The Apple Cannibal is on the rampage! Having lost any ability to do useful work due to her insatiable craving for apples, she's consumed ALL the dried apples at home and in school. That is the equivalent of something like FIFTY apples! (ok, I exaggerate.) Any remaning apples (like applelo_09, appline and zappel) are advised to TAKE COVER and HIDE from this horrid being. May constipation be her undoing.
I have GOT TO STOP eating! Urgh!
Your dominant hues are cyan and blue. You like people and enjoy making friends. You're conservative and like to make sure things make sense before you step into them, especially in relationships. You are curious but respected for your opinions by people who you sometimes wouldn't even suspect.
Your saturation level is lower than average - You don't stress out over things and don't understand people who do. Finishing projects may sometimes be a challenge, but you schedule time as you see fit and the important things all happen in the end, even if not everyone sees your grand master plan.
Your outlook on life is bright. You see good things in situations where others may not be able to, and it frustrates you to see them get down on everything.
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
This post will also be interspersed with random variations on multiple themes. Key Word: Randomness. Yes. Remember that, please.
First off, I have a sudden desire to run down to the 7-11 downstairs and buy myself yoghurt to eat. Snapshot of the conversation floating through my head:
Alter-ego 1: Go! Buy six cartons of yoghurt and subsist on nothing but fermented milk for the next few days.
AE2: Siao. It's one am and I'm in my pyjamas already.
AE1: SO what, yoghurt is healthy food!
AE2: And expensive. Dun be mad. That's like ten bucks of yoghurt. And ten bucks is a lot of money man!
AE1: Right. Yes. No yoghurt then.
Funny isn't it, the way I prioritize my spending. I'll blow $5 on a meal and not even finish half of it, then run off and buy $3 of Yami yoghurt (long live peach flavour!). Hesistate on a $14 tumbler and $59 skirt but buy a $140 suit straight off. Cease on ten bucks of yoghurt because I am supposed to spend only a hundred bucks more in Feb, to save up for 1. ISRAEL trip, 2. Chinese New Year and 3. Building fund 2005. Man I need to reorganize my spending. But as any true shopaholic will know, I always feel as if I don't have enough clothes to wear. Drat. I'm actually saving up clothes-of-appropriate-colour-that-are-not-really-new-but-haven't-been-seen-by-my-relatives-before-and-my-mum-for-awhile to wear for the hallowed days of CNY. Man. I actually have thought one ensemble out already; pink spag top from HK / Oz with my brown flowery skirt and m)phosis brown floppy bag. It would actually go perfect with x:odus' brown and pink pumps, but I don't own them. Rats, it's back to the drawing board, guys..
Ensemble 2 is in progress, but not quite THERE yet.. proposed centerpiece, though, is my green and white cheongsam top with SOME kind of skirt / pants. Falalalalala, it's CHINESE new year, so I am forgiven the cheesy cheena clothing, no? *winkz*
Cheese, by the way, is the name of my bear. My one and only irreplaceable big bear, a gift from keqing on v-day i'm not sure how many years back. Hm, those were the days when we were both swinging singles and heartily declaring that all men were scum and no man would hold us. Boy, *shaking my head in reminiscence* that was a long time ago. Were we really so young and naive? We promised to give each other gifts on V-day and mutually be gentlemanly at each other, because there were no men to do so. Well, years and years down the road, Cheese still sits in the place of honour on my couch, but Qing spends every v-day now with her Peter and Tiffany with her JC. How times have changed! Do they, I wonder, remember me?
Maudlin memories, I say. By the way, Cheese was named because he's a great shedder (of fur) and it sounded like cheddar (the cheese). Wahahahahahaha. So that's why - Shedder Cheese!
I love my bear. Wahahahahaha.
As an aside, I also love my dog and all things furry, including Winn-Dixie (YOUR fault, Jan, for getting me onto him!) But winndixie opens only on 18th feb, so:
1. i officially have nothing to do on v-day (Blueberry muffin baking, anyone??)
2. i went to see Finding Neverland yesterday. Finding Neverland is the kind of show you come out from feeling emotionally stirred - to no end or purpose. Gloriously sentimental, sweeping vistas, proper restrained propriety between Johnny Depp and Kate Winslet - immerse yourself in the beautiful sentiments of the story, with no commitments and no decisions required. Exactly the kind of show you go to to feel more human and less like a work-machine. Six-fifty well spent, I say.
Six fifty this morning was NOT well spent, though, because THAT was the time I woke up. Given that we have to be in school by seven twenty-five and i live a half an hour drive from school, it was a struggle within myself to rush down or simply give up and take MC for the day. Not that I don't qualify; I'm met every morning with stares and exclamations of "ni3 shui4 mian2 bu4 zu2 ah' and 'ni3 shen1 bing4 ma1?' (translating to 'you haven't got enough sleep' and 'are you sick?' respectively). Sick by everyone else's standards, but not sick enough by my own to take a day off. Sigh. I drive myself mad! And so, in all haste, i brought myself and my bad hair day down to school. I will, one day, I swear, either get myself into an education system where I can wake up at 9am each day and wear street clothes and dye my hair purple. Or, I'll revolutionize the education system here. Wahahahahahaha. Let's all have green tweed skirts, purple paisley-print coats and Victorian-collared white shirts with cravats! Oh, and team those with knee-high leather boots. Of course, knee-high boots means the green tweed skirts have to be minis. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Vote me into government, anyone? *evil wink*
With pride and ardor burning,
ahming loves you too.
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
in a rush to school i happened to lift my eyes
above the trafficcrowds and happened to see
the cottonball clouds
tinted a dainty, freshdyed pink against a
deeplybreathing blue sky.
May this remind me to lift my eyes above my circumstances everyday.