Tuesday, August 31, 2004


efficiency - doing the thing right
effectiveness - doing the right thing
excellence - doing the right thing at the right time

today pst kong spoke about knowing the purpose of our ministries and excelling in that purpose.. what is the purpose of the usher ministry then? we are to be friendly and meet the needs of the people.. above all, it is the people that matter the most. it doesn't matter if we run a technically perfect service in terms of flow and filling and giving out stuff.. what matters most is that people feel their needs are met. people with special needs get them attended to. and we do not end up so busy with ushering things that we forget to usher people.

it blows my mind, too, that in order to be an excellent ministry we need to both grow bigger and smaller at the same time. I.e. we need to see the BIG picture, yet attend to the needs of every single person. how can this happen? 1. we need more ushers 2. we need the ushers we already have to be more senstive, discerning and mature. we are really the frontline ministry of the church and therefore those most likely to offend others / soothe over offences that have been committed. how to put mature ushers at these positions then? there are SO MANY different places in the church! answer, obvious: train people lor! that means more time discipling them n talking to them. which brings me back to the point that 80 told me i need to improve on at the beginning of the year.. building and maintaining relationships with ushers so that i can disciple them. which means i need to spare more TIME (ouch, always my weakest point).

besides spending more time communicating with my ushers, will also have to spend more time in ushering.. things like traffic 2 understudy, door ushers for the service when not on duty etc. oh dear. understand pastor's concerns and understand the need for people to take on these positions. thus, understand why i need to sacrifice more time. but it is *so* hard. need to lean a LOT on God's strength.. i can foresee that every weekend subsequently will be a fri-sun fully occupied in church affair.. haha..

Monday, August 30, 2004

haleonline personality test!


Ok. You are sympathetic, loyal, considerate, and conscientious. You will go to any amount of trouble, when it makes sense to you, to help those in need. You are responsible and enjoy being needed. You are down-to-earth and realistic and like others who are quiet and unassuming. You absorb and enjoy using a large number of facts.

You like situations where the rules are well defined and where traditions are to be upheld. You focus on providing practical help and services for others and for the organizations you serve. You have a strong work ethic.

You can be painstakingly accurate and systematic in handling tasks...you're conservative with traditional values...quiet and modest...tactful and supportive of friends and family...

You are often self-effacing in getting the job done, and are willing to make necessary sacrifices, especially for your family. You are at your best quietly providing assistance and making sure things are in order.

You have a few close friends, don't like disharmony, and try to keep cooperation at all costs...you'll stay close friends with that tight circle for a LONG time...worry a lot...
You need to have things organized in a way you think works.. you cannot work when things are out of order...when things are in disarray, you have to reorganize 'em immediately....you get involved with leisure ONLY after all the work is done...

You have a tendency to put off relaxing because there's too much work to be done...you enjoy time with your family...you fall in love hard when you fall. You place a high value on marriage and family...you seek out a partner and feel unfulfilled without one. you most likely are a good student because you diligently follow through in your work to please your teachers.....you learn best by DOING...

You tend not to be the center of attention...often appear serious...others like trying to get a laugh or a smile out of you...you get angry or bitter when scorned...but you keep it inside...

Possible blindspots: because you are SOOOO in the present, you have a hard time seeing possibilities or consequences of your actions...can become mired in the daily grind...don't forget to express your bottled-up feelings...you can be taken advantage of....could be pessimistic about the future because it's unknown and you rely on past experiences.....you want to plan too much.

ISFJ: "I Serve Family Joyfully"


Hm, I used to be an INFP in secondary school.. haha.. still quite close in the balance though!
Let's see more of who I used to be:


You focus deeply on your values and devote your life to chasing ideals... you often draw people together around a common purpose and work to find a place for each person within the group. You're creative and seek new ideas and possibilities. You quietly push for what's important to you, and rarely give up. You might be somewhat gentle or have a good sense of humor, you could be hard to get to know and overlooked by others...you like to make the world more in line with your vision of perfection.

If you're a teenager, you probably have a bit of a rebellious streak. You might argue with others who hold different values than yourself..you probably have a small close-knit group of friends...you can relax around these pals and be pretty entertaining, since you see the world in a different and special way... that's why your posts on the Storm Palace are so great!

Inner harmony is the most important thing to you. You're sensitive and loyal. You have a strong sense of honor concerning your personal values. You'd rather communicate your feelings in writing...

You do best in a flexible situation where the teacher/collegue takes a personal interest in you...you like to interact with your peers, but not TOO much ...you have both creativity and flexibility, and you like that about yourself....you don't get bogged down by details...your job must be fun and it must be meaningful to you....you don't wanna feel conspicuous so you'll sell yourself short just to avoid the spotlight...

You can be a gentle and subtle leader...being indirect and inclusive of others...you don't confront people head-on, but rather work with 'em to get the job done....you lead with your values in mind and let these guide you...you don't like conflict, so you don't confront situations directly.. you'd rather wait for a situation to work itself out....

Leisure and kickin' back is really important to you. sometimes it is hard to separate work from play, huh? when you find a new recreational pursuit, you do a lot of reading up on it...most of your leisure things are done alone, like reading, listening to music, and even BBSing....when you want to be sociable, you can be very charming and outgoing..

Love is a very deep commitment to you...it's not easily attained...you probably pick out flaws or are disappointed when he or she doesn't match up to your ideal as to what love should be like...first dates are very well set up to make sure everything is taken care of so it can be "just right." you might have a hard time sharing feelings about others...you tell so many feelings inside that you forget to tell your partner that you love 'em or whatever....

If the relationship goes bad, you take it to heart, but probably don't tell many others about it....you have a tendency to overreact, huh? Other things to watch for...don't get so caught up in your dreams that you don't consider others' points-of-view...you might not adjust your vision to the facts of a situation...you may need a "reality check" once in a while... also, don't try to please everyone and be so hesitant to criticize... don't delay projects 'cause you're holding out for perfection...it's not gonna come...don't get overly critical because no one matches your perfect ideals... you could lash out and it could get ugly.

INFP: "I Never Find Perfection"

Was that a change for the better or worse? haha.. drop me a line if you've known me for years and tell me k?? ahahahaha..


i wish i could be on MC today, but nope, it's preparation for Teachers' Day.. erpz.. i will try to hold my head up. =D nope, cannot, see my head is listing to the side already. yikes. JIAYOU ahming.. we will try to fastly finish all that we have to do!

Sunday, August 29, 2004

miscommunication madness

what a weekend, with all sorts of communications going awry within UM.. sigh.. i am so exhausted, and for a time, very frustrated.. suffice to say that a lot of double work n double manpower use could have been avoided had we been more detailed in our communications. WE SERIOUSLY NEED TO IMPROVE IN THIS AREA! i was quite pek chek over it.. and as a result showed my displeasure to ahding n matt. sigh. i can say that i prob had every right to be frustrated, but having a right to be frustrated did not give me the licence to express myself so unkindly. immediately after i spoke all 3 times, the Holy Spirit prodded me n i felt shamed.. and yet STILL continued to speak without thinking the next time a frustration came up. ahming pls learn! good grief!

was reminded again today as i did my Bible reading.. Ephesians all of chapter 4 was like constantly poking me about my 1. lack of self-control 2. lack of love for the pp i'm speaking to 3. lack of kindness and graciousness. work in progress, ahming, but can progress more ahnot??!! *sigh*

Eph 4:1 - "have a walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace."

i must learn to walk every minute not by my flesh but by the Spirit.. for we have not so learned Christ (4:20).. Lord, help me walk with you and consider what You would do 1st in any situation.

and most prodding of all: Eph 4:29-32 "Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you." .. amen.. jiayou ahming!


Who, you may ask, is the mysterious BUBBLEMUNCHE? he is my crappy, rubbishy cousin and NO, Eddie Neo Chee Beng is NOT his name. and HAH, he is WAY taller than 160cm.. stoopid BM mus have thought of that to suan me right, i who have striven all my life to reach 160cm and stopped at a highly irritating 159cm. Yes! It's a conspiracy! argh!

those of you who cannot understand what i mean, take a look at the newest link i have..

"bubblemunche: ji3 lame"

anyway, i blog about BM in RETALIATION, because he says he has a PLOT to blog something about me.. that involves the number 256 (?) and goodness knows what else. maybe BM, u can blog that i'm REALLY 256cm tall? yeah.. do.. =) since BM fears DISCOVERY most, i have a good ba2 bing3 if he decides to truly crap so much.. i will not only REVEAL your identity, i will POST your picture (and try to make everyone see tt u still look like li guohuang.. ahahaha) and DEFACE your site with interesting (what a deadly word) and special (worse still) stuff. Yes. so beware, bubblemunche, you have been warned.. i will visit ur site often to check on the rubbish you write and make your site counter jump ok?

ahming is watching you..

Friday, August 27, 2004

Thursday, August 26, 2004

randon rants

Writing on my morning commute to college.. have recently taken to the habit of lugging my laptop around and writing /doing work whenever I have time.. because there is simply too much work to be done. Heard I might be repeating j2 next year.. ouch.. anna n mag will prob have to go down to j1 cos both are having / wanting to have kids within the next year. Not that I mind or begrudge them the opportunity, just that I've realised how much more stressful j2 is than j1. also, if I'm j2 in 2005, it means j1 in 2006.. the first year of the new syllabus, ugh.

Hm, mrs foo is not here today.. her daughter's sick, heard from xz. Layhua's also half dead and wanting to go off at 2pm, so I'll be taking 73's practical for her.. angel was sick 2 days ago.. our entire unit is dropping like flies, hah! End-of-term-stress syndrome strikes again! For me, meanwhile, tension headaches continue, but I can't do anything about them except take panadol and try not to work so much (yeah right!) so jus have to 'tong' lor. =P

it's rather a bittersweet feeling, this.. having the last CT session, last prac session, last tutorial session, last lecture etc. on one hand, I am glad that term will be over soon and there'll be a respite from work, but on the other it's quite sad that my lovely classes will never be back again. Yes, of course, there's remedial and post prelim stuff but somehow, it will just not be the same. 70, 77, 78, 7B.. I will miss you guys for sure. I guess I will always hold you pp close to my heart cos you are my first batch.. I hope I will put in as much effort to get to know my subsequent students and be their friend too, but I don't know how realistic that will be. Will I become jaded and 'sian' like some of my teacher friends? Perhaps.. or maybe I will just become burnt out by the crushing (and squashing and squeezing) workload. Sigh, why am I burnt out and not my fats instead.. ahahaha.. I will try very hard to keep up with the kind of rapport I have with my classes now (hey, none of u can deny that I at least did TRY right, even if I din succeed so well.. =P) with my future batches.

It's that time of year when all grievances are forgiven, and all past mistakes and grudges fade into insignificance. Yesterday, during CT session, we had our last CT session of the year (and for my kids, their entire student career).. we had this 'thank you' card writing session, and I was pretty surprised to see that everyone had good things to thank each other for.. tho my class is cliquish at the best of times, I realised that throughout the 2 years, they did actually mix and mingle to some extent, and though at times there were vehement disagreements and strongly expressed opinions about each other, these have all paled into the background now. It really will be the way you remember your JC life, pp.. the good times rather than the bad, the fun rather than the work, and the friends rather than the enemies. Like the way I remember mine! =)

keqing's birthday

erps erps.. realised that it was keqing's birthday today only in the evening. Felt bad. qing's a fren who has truly stuck with me through thick and thin (yeah, i'm thick and she's thin.. hahaha) since 96S71. it's the kind of friendship where you don't talk to one another for months and suddenly the phone call comes and you just kinda pick up where you left off.. v few pp i can do that with.. irene, mon and ty, that's about the only others! and qing.. you really have done lots for me. ridiculous rubbish like lighting a 100 tealights at my house downstairs in the shape of my name and trying to keep them alight in a raging wind to make me feel special on my birthday.. with a tiny slice of cheesecake and a CHOICE of drinks in a cooler.. can you beat that! unfortunately, i'm not the same sort of creative and ooh-eng person.. my birthday gifts are usually the most practical things on earth. then again, what can i get for the person who has everything that money can buy? maybe 100 red pens and layout in the shape of your figure? shouldn't be too difficult - each pen already got ur figure.. haha.. tall and lithe.. erpz!

write a poem?


kindred spirit, soul-fleshed twin
though opposite in many ways
we share
the common point
of making each other laugh
and that's held us together
since day one

through tears
and fears
and years
of hopes hoped, dreams dreamt, and lives lived

heaven was kind that day.

_end attempt_


happy birthday, qing!

backdate 1 - thursday 26082004

heyhey.. nv had much time to blog over de past few days so shall backdate all my posts today.. =) ahaha.. so backdate1: 25082004, Thursday:

the pressure felt like killing, cos 1. trying to finish syllabus 2. trying to finish setting 3. trying to finish TD 4. trying to finish marking stuff 2b returned. yikes! hee.. it always gets worse before it gets better i s'pose..

GM, then rushed down 4 CG. Made it jus before preaching.. thank God! i thought i would be LATE LATE LATE but my CG's well-known tardiness and yunhao's well-known verbosity saved the day.. Hee.. Excellent msg on PRAYER and how it changes our lives, and why we need to be disciplined to pray constantly. Here goes:

1. Prayer opens the heavens over me
Indeed, it's so true.. many times when we try to make things happen by our own strength, we fail; but when we trust in God, and His timing, the heavens begin to open n stuff just falls into place. innumerable examples..

2. Prayer brings down the presence of the Holy Spirit
Speaking in tongues - a whole gamut of movements in the supernatural. for me, most impt thing i've realised is tt praying in tongues gives a sense of peace and assurance that your destiny is in God's hands.. many times when i've felt uncertain, upset, simply in need of wisdom to get through a situation - simply praying in tongues helps me to lay down my emotions and focus on God's plan and God's person.
Yunhao said something.. that we should be obedient one step at a time - that is SO true; even though we may not know the entire purpose of what we're doing, when we simply trust God and take a step of faith in obedience, God brings us through - remember always, He has the HIGHER point of view!
Yunhao said again - (those of u who have no idea what 'verbosity' meant should be getting a clearer idea now.. haha.. it means WORDINESS.. not that i mind cos he is a seriously anointed and wise CGL.. amen!) that we should pray till we are sure that the step we're considering is one God wants us to take.. in fact that we should pray till God wants us to stop (somehow that didn't come out right but i can't think of a better way to express it). Meditate on that, ahming.. !

3. Prayer makes me more and more like God
as we know His heart - and have His presence in our lives - our countenance and character will be uplifted and we rise above our circumstances and emotional responses to them to truly become pp who can say and do WWJD. be imitators of God, dear children.. yes, me the dear and blur child.. yeappz, i definitely need to work on this!

4. Prayer breaks the stubborness of my rebellious flesh
oh boy, for SURE i need to work on this. so true that it's a SACRFICE of praise and DISCIPLINE of prayer.. when you are weary and the flesh wars against the spirit - one says 'sleep' and the other says 'talk to God' - it is so human to allow the flesh to win out and lie down on e bed! WILLPOWER !!!!!!!!!
Yunhao's WOW again (words of wisdom.. haha suddenly thought of the acronym.. ahahaha..) we have to learn to close the gap between receiving a revelation and doing the revelation. Hm, what kind of weird syntax is that.. this comes from trying to keep sermon notes brief.. but i think everyone understands la hor? =) yeah, confirm applies to me.. me and my UM dreams, and me and my influence-students dream too! Yes, all that we do is in God's plan, but imagine how much more we could do if we had only grasped our destiny earlier. work hard, ahming!

5. Prayer releases the power of God in my life
'nuff said. i wanna live a powerpacked, victorious life, not a downtrodden, depressed and disappointed one.

yuppz, that was the CG sermon for thursday.. i am really spurred to seek God more. the power of prayer is amazing!

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

my fav poetry.. part the first

thomas hardy - the darkling thrush

I leant upon a coppice gate
When Frost was spectre-grey,
And Winter's dregs made desolate
The weakening eye of day.
The tangled bine-stems scored the sky
Like strings of broken lyres,
And all mankind that haunted nigh
Had sought their household fires.

The land's sharp features seemed to be
The Century's corpse outleant,
His crypt the cloudy canopy,
The wind his death-lament.
The ancient pulse of germ and birth
Was shrunken hard and dry,
And every spirit upon earth
Seemed fervourless as I.

At once a voice arose among
The bleak twigs overhead
In a full-hearted evensong
Of joy illimited;
An aged thrush, frail, gaunt and small,
In blast-beruffled plume,
Had chosen thus to fling his soul
Upon the growing gloom.

So little cause for carolings
Of such ecstatic sound
Was written on terrestrial things
Afar or nigh around,
That I could think there trembled through
His happy good-night air
Some blessed Hope, whereof he knew
And I was unaware.

Brings to mind Heb 12:2 - "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. "

yeah, let's not look at our circumstances, but on the hope we have in Jesus! amen!

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

tick tock tick tock! =)

It's quite funny, this.. that almost everyone I meet asks me if I'm attached, or tries to matchmake me. HAH! Is my biological clock ticking THAT loudly? ahahaha.. guess it means I'm rather over the hill lei.. I'm officially an OLD woman, help! This next birthday I'll have passed a quarter of a century.. feel like singing the song shen ah jiu jiu wo ba.. yi ba nian ji le, yi ge ai ren dou mei you! =P people my age are married and have kids, for goodness' sake! And here I am, with my dog and my blog (hey, it rhymes.. ahahaha) for company..

The funniest thing is, time passes and I'm not even aware of it. Am I worried that I'm not attached / married / whatever? I used to be, and used to be an Actively Seeking Someone (read the CAPS).. haha.. but thank God I'm over that stage now. Maybe I will really end up being an old maid, (no idea which guy would be able to stand my idiosyncrasies / parents / money woes etc), and maybe I won't. Who knows? Not me, not you, but God does. And hey, that's enough for me. Jer 29:11 - "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of good and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." That's it! I've come to realize that if I seek after something so hard that I push God out of the picture and try to accomplish it by my own strength, I will invariably fail. Why worry ahming? =) God has a great and good future planned!

Brought to mind a story that I heard sometime back:

One day, raging floodwaters swamp a tiny village, and one of the men, a devout Christian, is stranded on a small piece of land that's getting smaller by the minute. His faith undaunted, he prays. Soon, a rowboat comes by and the men inside reach out their hands to him:
"Come on," they shout, "get into the boat!"
"No," he responds, "God will save me."
Later, a speedboat comes by, as the water rises even higher.
"Come on," they shout, "get into the boat!"
"No," he responds, "God will save me."
Soon after, as the waters threaten to overwhelm him, a helicopter with a rescue rig flies past.
"Come on," they shout, "get into the craft!"
"No," he responds, "God will save me."
The waters do not recede.

Later, in heaven, the man meets God.
"Oh God! I have served you all my life; why did you not respond when I asked you to save me?"
"But I did - three times!"

haha.. God hears.. yeah! I'll keep on keeping on, and one day the promises He has given his children (myself, *ahem*, included) SHALL come to pass. So, to my kindhearted students and friends, fear not; I'm not lonely nor desperate nor seeking. I'll just live my life contentedly by God's plan and come what may, I will love Him.. until my dying day (Moulin Rouge… ahahaha!)

quotable quotes.. from mikeysfunnies

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. -- George Carlin

Love your enemies; it will drive them nuts. -- Eleanor Doan

For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.-- Johnny Carson

A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit. -- In the August 1993 issue, page 9, of PS magazine, the Army's magazine of preventive maintenance

The only difference between me and a madman is that I am not mad. -- Salvador Dali

Sacred cows make the best hamburger.-- Mark Twain

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."-- Charlie Brown, "Peanuts" [Charles Schulz]

I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.-- A Bit of Fry and Laurie

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right. -- Ashleigh Brilliant

Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.-- Dave Barry

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. -- A. Whitney Brown

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.-- William James

We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it--and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again, and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.-- Mark Twain

Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.-- F.P. Jones

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.-- Douglas Adams, Last Chance to See

One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar.--Helen Keller

Friday, August 20, 2004

impromptu poetry - rain in HJC

it rained today..
as i stood at the end of the corridor
random drops sashayed on the senselessly
exposed stone. glistening and wet
it invited.

back then
i loved the feeling of the raindrops as i ran
along the corridors and wings
moist wind and mist
would settle in and nestle in
my uniform and my hair
and i would emerge wild.

then, i was a child.

now, as i walk
i avoid the spray
i cannot afford to be sick today
for i have too much work to do.

besides, my hair colour would run.


Argh, what a bleah morning it is! I'm SO looking forward to the end of term and a breather. Thank God for the just-past National day superlong weekend.. we should have MORE of those. =P Wonder how it's going to be like when we have 14-week terms (eeks) when we start our new IP program. 10 weeks is already more than enough to kill! And all the students say.. AMEN! Yikes!
Yunhao wasn't around for CG last night, so Xiuzhu preached.. she is really a woman of wisdom! It was her birthday on Wed but I forgot to call her.. oops oops oops.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY XIUZHU (if u do ever read this! Ahahaha.. think it's only e juvenile pp in CG who blog, like me!) oh well, also linked the fruitstall on.. hee.. now I finally knoe who's EgoMango! Ahahaha..

How God uses problems

Five Ways God Uses Problems

The problems you face will either defeat you or develop you - depending on how you respond to them. Unfortunately, most people fail to see how God wants to use problems for good in their lives. They react foolishly and resent their problems rather than pausing to consider what benefit they might bring. Here are five ways God wants to use the problems in your life:

1. God uses problems to DIRECT you.

Sometimes God must light a fire under you to get you moving. Problems often point us in a new direction and motivate us to change. Is God trying to get your attention?

"Sometimes it takes a painful situation to make us change our ways." - Proverbs

2. God uses problems to INSPECT you.

People are like tea bags...if you want to know what's inside them, just drop them into hot water! Has God ever tested your faith with a problem? What does it reveal about you?

"When you have many kinds of troubles, you should be full of joy, because you know that these troubles test your faith, and will give you patience." - James 1:2-3

3. God uses problems to CORRECT you.

Some lessons we learn only through pain and failure. It's likely that as a child your parents told you not to touch a hot stove. But you probably learned by being burned. Sometimes we only learn the value of something...health, money, a relationship... by losing it.

"It was the best thing that could have happened to me, for it taught me to pay attention to your laws." - Psalm 119:71-72

4. God uses problems to PROTECT you.

A problem can be a blessing in disguise if it prevents you from being harmed by something more serious. Last year a friend was fired for refusing to do something unethical that his boss had asked him to do. His unemployment was a problem - but it saved him from being convicted and sent to prison a year later when management's actions were eventually discovered.

"You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good... " - Genesis 50:20

5. God uses problems to PERFECT you.

Problems, when responded to correctly, are character builders. God is far more interested in your character than your comfort. Your relationship to God and your character are the only two things you're going to take with you into eternity.

"We can rejoice when we run into problems... they help us learn to be patient. And patience develops strength of character in us and helps us trust God more each time we use it until finally our hope and faith are strong and steady." - Romans 5:3-4

Here's the point: God is at work in your life - even when you do not recognize it or understand it. But it's much easier and profitable when you cooperate with Him.

"Success can be measured not only in achievements, but in lessons learned, lives touched and moments shared along the way."

Thursday, August 19, 2004

Read this.. the pictures are a hoot.. =)

blogging addict!

hey hey.. i think i'm addicted to blogging.. haha.. as xizzy will testify, i was online till THREE, yes, THREE o'clock last night fiddling with my template and learning how to upload pics and so on. Oh boy.. and yet I'm STILL in school this morning.. ahaha.. i made myself a marquee (many thanks to xizzy's pics) and some scrolling thing across the bottom of the page with one of my fav songs. haha.. iYi will prob come after me and tell me I got the song lyrics wrong, which i probably have, but nvm.. I'm HAPPY. =D Next step: get myself a radioblog, once i figure out HOW to d/l n make the darn thing work.

spending lots of time reading other people's blogs right now, in an attempt to look for nice ideas n touches. Xiaxue's blog is very nicely done, and her posts are excellently funny - for those of you who have not yet heard / read of her, i put a link on. reading others' blogs, especially those deemed as very 'worth-reading', does make me wonder sometimes, though.. is it really necessary to use certains terms and write on certain subjects in order to be viewed by the general public as 'worth-seeing'? I'm sure no-one would consider what I write eminently readable, probably precisely because I'm so moderate in feeling and in expression, but everyone goes for blogs like Xiaxue's because she speaks her mind freely (and sometimes in rather strong language). Xiaxue if you ever do read this, I mean no offense, you're an excellent writer. I also know blogs are meant to be sites where we can express ourselves freely, but I've come to realise also that because they are public, and can and will be read by others, there has to be a certain amount of temperance and moderation to what what I personally would post. Brings to mind Romans 14:20-22 - not making others stumble - although we have the liberty to do anything we want, this liberty should be tempered by a love of others and a consideration of they would view what we've done/said/posted. Am I making sense? I don't know, but I think it's a personal conviction thing that I will continue to keep my posts moderate and try to be sensitive to how others feel. =)

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

just to explain myself.. POM stands for Parade of Ministry, an event that we had to celebrate my church's 15th anniversary. about half the mnistries in the church, including mine, the usher ministry, went on stage and put up short skits to show what we do. since i'm an usher, our segment involved things like traffic marshalling cars, physical arrangement of the church auditorium, putting bulletins, serving offering and communion and etc. Of course all 'kek' (bluff) one, otherwise how to be a short skit, but i think it showed what we do quite effectively. haha.. maybe can see the video on church website.. http://www.chc.org.sg

Monday, August 16, 2004

tension headaches!

darn, i just know when exam season's round the corner.. my tension headaches are starting again! also dunno why.. as if i'm the one taking the exam lah! =P need to stock up on panadol supplies liaoz.

the 15th of august

haha.. know it's 16th aug when i'm posting this, but nvm la hor. too tired yesterday to think straight already.. POMmed for another 2 more svcs, then my mum came for the last one so i nv POM n ivory took my place.. Thank you ivory dear! as a gesture of thankfulness, will call u ivory (and not miss i, ivrie, i-VOR-y or ovary) for the next one month. =P felt so special when my mum came.. we were late for svc thanks to e super super crowded lifts.. but ryan n darren n iYi bought a drink for her.. then pst ming n pst derek asked e ushers to make sure she got a seat even tho the hall was packedpackedpacked.. wow.. mother u v priviledged u knoe! haha! Mum i hope u were blessed by e svc.. think she learnt more about what i do in church n what our church does too. the msg was v good too.. see..

How to have a peace that surpasses all understanding?
Philippians 4:6-8 - Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy--meditate on these things.

great msg for my good mother, the #1 worrywart! =D

well, after that, went with my mum to jurong point.. apparently she loves my hair too.. ahaha.. and wanted to get her hair coloured! so there she sat at Sandstorm, while i roamed around JP for two *interminable* hours wishing for my bed. =P to top it off, my dad came over for dinner, so that was another two hours.. yikes.. i think by the time it was 9pm, my eyes were SO small..

Progress of ahming's eye sizes:
*not that my eyes v big to begin with.. ahahaha*

Wednesday: POM then rehearsal till 1+ am = eyes can blindfold with scotch tape
Thursday: POM then rehearsal till 3+ am = eyes can blindfold with a piece of wire
Friday: Performance then rehearsal till 1+ am = rubber band
Saturday: Performance n fellowship till 12 mn = yi4 tiao2 tou2 fa3
Sunday: no eyes already liaoz..

oh well. tiring but worth it! =) managed to get to know my team members better too.. Mingfeng, Xueyu n Jacqueline were all there on Sunday, though I was drifting in n out of sleep at various parts of the day, did manage to get to talk to them esp Xueyu n Mingfend.. hopefully the conversation was for the better.. and will make Some Impact.. *ahem ahem*.. hee.. Very thankful for the chance.. but dun think I'm going to POM again anytime soon! yikes! =D

Sunday, August 15, 2004

the 14th of august

Zhengliang looks very GOOD LOOKING today!!!! why why??? Cos he wore the shirt me n iYi bought 4 him!!! mwahahahaa.. way to go, bro!!

jus back from POM-ming all day n night.. *footache*.. ahaha.. but it is a good cause la. =P was quite irritated at having 2b involved but I realise as I watch other ministries' parade that I really learn a lot about what they do.. hmm.. pp prob learn more about usher ministry from watching us too. =) the walk down to base 4 and up is really killing though. Think I've gotten my month's worth of Stairmaster workouts.. I think climbed up n down about 20 storeys la.. *yikes* I NEED to grow TALLER! so it means not having to wear murderer heels to look presentable. =P AND the whole thing, 3 services worth, will be repeated tomoro! if i come to work in flats on monday, everyone knows why.. haha..

Friday, August 13, 2004

letter to 70

Sigh.. upset about my good class again.. I think it's the first time in history that an S7 class has topped the 'long hu bang' for having to see P and VP wrt to academic results! Why on earth.. what a way to make history. It makes me feel frustrated and pek chek cos I really believe, people, that you can do MUCH better.. and I just can't understand why whatever I say with regards to working harder and pulling up socks does not seem to go in! I've tried everything I can think of - being nice, persuasive, scolding (not v good at it but i tried!), pleading, talking sense, talking nonsense.. but yet nothing seems to make my good CT wake up to the fact that THERE'S NO MORE TIME to horse around! 70 I do love you for your sense of fun and inquisitiveness, but there's a time for everything and a season for every purpose under heaven, and it's the season for studying, not playing anymore! It seems to me that the class is just going downhill with every block test. Come on people, you have the ability, it's just that you need to discipline your flesh and buckle down and just hit the books. And clarify doubts. And be serious in class. And learn to take responsibility for your own learning. Worry and fret though I might, in the end it's ultimately not my business but yours. The A level results belong to YOU, not to ME. You owe it to yourself not to be affected by your circumstances but to rise above them!

There are times I also wonder if you would do better if you had another tutor.. someone who could motivate you in a different way. I wonder if my 'friend-friend' approach is actually doing you more harm than good? Perhaps you culd be performing like 75.. shooting up to the top of the table all of a sudden.. for the Fear of Foo! But whatever it is, we are stuck with each other and we HAVE to see each other through to our common goal.. 'A's for the A levels! JIA YOU 70..

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

red head continued

my *first* dyeing job ever.. i MUST describe it! =P Btw thanks dad for sponsoring me.. if you ever do read this.. ahahaha.. Dark red with violet tones is the base, it's SUPPOSED to look black under everything but sunlight, but I think the hairdresser was kind of in a National-Day-patriotism mode and left it on for too long.. I am now the proud owner of a flamingly red red head of hair! ahahaha.. the highlights, which are an EVEN BRIGHTER red, are hidden inside the hair - he has this odd way of highlighting - but can be seen when I tie my hair up. Right, it means no tying hair in school for the sweltering months of August and September! oh, intelligence, Huiming!!

anyway, everybody in school is staring at my head today.. I'm trying to act nonchalant but it's kind of hard to when students THRONG around you and ask if you dyed your hair! And people message me DURING ASSEMBLY, to tell me my hair is *so obvious*! xz what u doin msgsing during assembly in the first place lah!

ahaha.. but it's nice. =) I'm in love with my hair.

red head

heyhey, i did my hair today! =)

Thursday, August 05, 2004

_a poem i wrote long ago_

The sky of the daytime burns bright blue, an achingly clear flame that ignites all space
And consumes it to nothingness
Sun rays pour down
In an ellipse marked only by the shadows of dewdrops and the cry of windsong
Bathed in sparseness stands the scene
Of sky, land
You, me.
Two hands not touching,
Two minds yet feeling,
Wanting to, yet fearing
To cross the great divide.

And the two stand
And watch the sky kiss the land
Wondering why the distance between heaven and earth is breached far easier
Than the distance between their souls.

HL, dedicated to you.



driving along the expressway today

in a rush to school i happened to lift my eyes

above the trafficcrowds and happened to see

the cottonball clouds

tinted a dainty, freshdyed pink against a

deeplybreathing blue sky.

May this remind me to lift my eyes above my circumstances everyday.


be a part of my own memories:

to smell the old smells and taste the old tang in the tar-laden air

weave through the old men and women and old plastic chairs

mosaic tables and floors and slow games of chess

astride thick-barked trees that grew old together with the land.

thirty years of accumulated grime squeezed between the bricked pavestones

sepia-toned conversations, childrens' laughter and a more innocent time

flash into memory; the stones at least remember.

it is no crime to be old.

the defining word of my life is: tired

my bones are weary with the sun

though i am yet young. would i

have held a different life though?

i don't think so. it is a privilege i feel

to carry my cross

and serve all i can.

but sometimes, just sometimes

i wish i could put everything down

slack in a corner for a while

return to being a child.

yet i know it cannot be

the world will never wait for me

and so i shoulder my cross anew

and wait on God to see me through.

Isaiah 40:31 - "But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint."

impromptu poetry: Rain in HCJC

it rained today..

as i stood at the end of the corridor

random drops sashayed on the senselessly


exposed stone. glistening and wet

it invited.

back then

i loved the feeling of the raindrops as i ran

along the corridors and wings

moist wind and mist

would settle in and nestle in

my uniform and my hair

and i would emerge wild.

then, i was a child.

now, as i walk

i avoid the spray

i cannot afford to be sick today

for i have too much work to do.

besides, my hair colour would run.

a poem Written long ago, to someone forgotten long before.

the sky of the daytime burns bright blue, an achingly clear flame that ignites all space

and consumes it to nothingness

sun rays pour down

in an ellipse marked only by the shadows of dewdrops and the cry of windsong

bathed in sparseness stands the scene

of sky, land

you, me.

two hands not touching,

two minds yet feeling,

wanting to, yet fearing

to cross the great divide.

And the two stand

and watch the sky kiss the land

wondering why the distance between heaven and earth is breached far easier

than the distance between their souls.

i had a dream

Last night I dreamt of you:

It was raining in my dream, and I was running after a bus that refused to wait for me.

Somewhere down the road, it stopped and you made a space for me next to you.

The inner seat, and not the outer one, as though you wanted to protect me.

I was surprised, and rightly so, for I had never thought you would so do;

Perhaps it was because of the fat, lecherous unknown who had run with me for the bus and climbed in after me?

But anyway, the open-sided bus wove its way along the forested roads

and the humidity and rain made it cool and lovely.

Rising above a riverside gorge, I remember thinking that only eutrophication could have made the water such a deep green.

We laughed at the people wading their algae-coated way through the river,

and generally had a good time.


Same position, you on my left, on a sofa watching the TV.

White sofa in a messy room, facing a wall of cupboards.

For some reason, I put my hand on your knee.

I do not know what made me so bold.

You reciprocated by curling an arm around my shoulders.

I cannot describe that feeling; I cannot put it into words.

I felt like I was home again, after a long and weary walk in the wilderness. Like it was the place I should rightly occupy, to be beloved by you.

Chin on your knee, and you let me channel-surf with the remote.

I was happy with your silence,

and you were comfortable with my dependence.

And then they came in; two,

unknown again, other vague characters of dreamland

The channel was Wikipedia then; I must have confused a computer monitor with the TV.

The two expounded on relationships;

and said we were an example of a Dominant-Loyalist pair or some such

(whatever would that mean?)

It was enough to bring us to self-awareness, and we both sat straight.

Before long, my hand found yours, and you pulled my hand to your lips.

Blushing, I stood and walked out of the room; you followed.

Willing you to ask; for some reason, next to the ironing board.

You would have knelt down and taken out a ring, in idealism,

but then I woke up.

To the realization that it was all just a dream,

And I refused to unclose my eyes and uncurl myself from the bed, for a reluctance to face the reality that such a dream would never be.

I am content to live in the happy fantasy.

the ones that care

Taken off Wanjun's blog..

Take this quiz:
1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America contest.
4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer prize.
5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.
6. Name the last decade's worth of World Series winners.

How did you do?

The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one:
1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.
5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.
6. Name half a dozen heroes whose stories have inspired you.


The lesson: The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care.

waxing lyrical

went out with a bunch of Mongolian trip pp today. Interesting to know that there were actually three groups that went there within just a few weeks. thebuilders were actually the 2nd of the three. 1st group, Daniel's, was only 6 pp and they went to Erdenet; mine, 25 pp, in UB; the 3rd group was in Darkhan. The dynamics of all 3 groups v different. daniel one like v quiet like that, this 3rd one v hip n happening. They seem to be all very affluent people - though i don't know any of them personally, their conversation and ideas show it very well. Set me kind of thinking.. not too long ago my life was like that too. I'd never really 'missed' being wealthy, but hearing people talk about yearly trips to Switzerland, buying a new iPod every time one comes out etc etc made me feel, for a while, inadequate. Not quite the right word leh? =P jus kind of prodded me to the recollection that once too, i was in that league, and made me feel rather nostalgic.. haha..

Looking back at the past 8 years of life, I realise that I'm very grateful for all the challenges that I've faced. The Hwa Chong song is so true -
mei2 you3 pu4 bu4 yu3 yan2 shi2 de zu3 dang2, xi1 shui2 jiu4 mei2 you3 yue4 er3 de ge1 chang4

Thank you, Lord, for guiding me through all these years and being with me every step of the way. Many times I wanted to give up but was reminded of Your Word - 1 Cor 10:13 No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. Walking with God has literally saved my life many, many times. One day, when I'm really free, I'll pen down my testimony and post it. =)

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

_so tired_

_so tired_

i need more strength! =P the workload in school is really crushing - i don't even know whether to look forward to the National Day break or not - although it means a much needed rest, it also means lost lesson time that I will be scrambling to recover.. aargh! and more marking and more marking and more marking. yeesh. I MUST discipline myself to MARK more..

was it just one year ago that i came into teaching? it seems like much longer. how i admire those people who've stuck it out all these years, eating the same food, breathing the same air, teaching the same things for 30 years! i'm not even sure where I will get the strength to finish up my own, short, 2 years-to-go bond. Lord, give me strength!

Ps 73:26 My flesh and heart fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
Phil 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

the computer-illiterate child..

argh, I have yet to be able to publish my posts successfully with my new template! the angst of a computer-illiterate child.

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

_communicate me_

my day each day is about communicating stuff. teachers, students, ushers, stuff. and i find that i have yet to, at the end of each day, communicate me. what i have thought about the things that happen each day - angst, joy, euphoria? or has my life simply gone past in a blur of hurried minutes? shall i try, shall i dare, shall i want to communicate me?

my very first time..

hey hey.. first time in many years i'm keeping something even remotely like a diary. i wonder how long this shall last? =)

amazing, SY thanks for teaching me.. ahahaha.. but you STILL have to do your bio tutes!

it's liberating to be able to write and pen down thoughts and not worry about having to express yourself to people who are *staring* at you. =) i've always found it hard to talk out loud to an audience.. ahahaha.. till today if i have lots of things to say i still think writing is the best way. do i surprise all of you? ahahaha.. we shall see.. whether, like ZL, i learn verbal diarrhoea, or will end up with verbal constipation AKA finger cramp after a while. =)