Monday, March 29, 2010

No pressure, my foot

Don't give me such rubbish la, NO PRESSURE, saying everything is for my own good and up to me to decide, if its really up to me, then why keep on repeating and repeating?? Basically, trying to nag me into submission, all the same as it has always been for the 30 years of my life. Somehow, this belief that if you repeat it enough times, I will eventually cave in.

Yeah, ridiculous boh.
Example: a dozen years after I entered uni, my mum still believes she can change my mind to go back to uni and enter medical school (not because I want to, because SHE wants me to) just by nagging at me every time she gets me alone.

Now, its wanting me to move back to her place. Either just me, or the ENTIRE gang- hubby, 2 kids and maid!!! Not to mention all the barang barang that 2 young kids need, OMG.

If its just me, I'll have to run in triangles around the island everyday - bukit timah to yew tee to upper thomson. On top of doing my own work that I am already completely overwhelmed by.
I shudder to think what the case would be if I moved everyone over.

YES, I know that you are lonely.
YES, I know I am the only child - therefore all the relatives expect me to be the one to handle everything. How many times have I been told to "look after my mother, she is not strong, you have to be"??? Uncountable!!!
YES, I know I am "all that you have" and "the only one can be comfortable with".
YES, I know you are still upset and depressed, you know what, if I move back, you will be EVEN more upset and depressed because you will be telling me tales of Dad every minute of the day. Since I am "the only one who can understand" and who CANNOT ask you to change topic to get out of your maudlin mood!

I am worn out of my mind thinking of solutions and relying on the goodwill of others.. I am so frustrated.

Monday, March 01, 2010

Is too s*** stressed that she has weird dreams

And so I was going on holiday to Iceland with my mother from 4th to 7th June. Deciding between pink striped and purple fur coats, I dithered and forgot to pack my underwear. No worries, we were limousine-chauffeured to the airport and got there in record time. Horror of horrors, discovered that my mum's friend's son was my colleague Yew Han and would be going along with us. Shit, will he ask me to work on my holidays too??? But actually, it was not a bad trip, just that I was pissed my name couldn't fit into the 5-letter long space on the souvenir pictures. Whereupon I promptly woke up and discovered it was 6.45am and dashed off to school.

Credits to Jiawen (calling me to tell me she'd booked a holiday to Europe in June), Yew Han (for calling me about work and for being surnamed Heng - same as Aunty Miriam), my over active imagination and need for a break.

And Iceland is beautiful in my dreams..

PS. Got to school then remembered today we only need to report at 8.45am, damn could have continued seeing more of Iceland in my dream..

Update - I went home to google for photos of Iceland. My dream is super inaccurate lah. =X