Sunday, March 27, 2005
freaking had to walk home from yewtee mrt after i overslept on 302.
add insult to injury, by the time i dragged my sorry feet home, the next 302 had arrived at my block's bus stop.
TIBS should really not make their buses so freezing cold. Cold dulls the senses and lulls people to sleep. i mean. biologically speaking. Cold -> lowered kinetic energy of molecules -> lowered blood flow rate -> lowered oxygen delivery to tissues including brain -> dulled thought.
i'm *so* sure of that, that next time we could put it in as an excuse for flunking exams. I failed my Block Test???? BLAME IT ON THE FREEZING CLASSROOM! Let's sue the school for setting temperatures to 18degrees! *evil laughter - i can so see the school removing the aircons already ~*
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Conversations with Me
I am not Me. Unlike myself, Me is not trapped in the harsh reality of it all... therefore, Me represents the inherent human being in me. Fictional? Entirely. Believable? Absolutely. Read on.
found on a blogsite i random-surfed to. How utterly true.
Tread carefully and lightly in her conversations with she, herself, and her.
each mile by faith
to drive by faith
i put my trust in You
every turn i make
is a turn of faith
no traffic light against me
every stop i make
is a waste of gas
if traffic light is for me
then i will save my money
*repeat, ad nauseum, till laughter becomes uncontrollable.
and i need a sense of closure.
keqing's grandmother died today, at the grand old age of eighty-eight. remembering the times i used to run over to qing's house and she would mutter at me for being a Christian, to the times when she used to confuse me and Tiffany, to the teochew i learned to yell at her deaf ears when she used to confuse keqing and her brother ("Wa Ai ZARBOR, mm si Tah Bor! Kaur Kheng, KAUR Kheng, zarbor zarbor zarbor!").. to the shrivelled and bedridden shell of her former self this past year - is, like any loss of life, unutterably sad. yes, so i may not show it; that doesn't mean i don't allow myself to think about it or feel it in the privacy of my own room. eight years since i got to know qing; eight years since i first saw her grandma.
let me grieve for her tonight; let me live in my reminiscences. i will be better tomorrow.
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Or OWTTE, SCD.
correlates to SJ / NT / NJ.
For all your informations, natural ole me sucks at being an I / SP. all my I-ness is Spirit-filled, surely.
wondered what's the correlation between MBTI / DISC and San/Mel/Chlor/Phleg?
it stems from this being the only world you know. get a life, build it on yourself and not on me and not on my father; thank you for choosing to sacrifice so much for us, but it does not fulfil you and never will. be your own person, mum..
while i, here, shudder at the thought of becoming her one day.. never so noble, me. i want my own life, my own thoughts and opinions and feelings; not to be subsumed under the needs of others.
let me always remember to be me.
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
drat, i hate dragging myself back to work.. the routine (endless rounds of practical marking, tutorial preparation, lecture-notes writing, meetings) kills.
*deleted the previous few sentences in the minimalist style of my new blogskin. cos yeesh i'm going l-o-n-g-w-i-n-d-e-d again.*
look! it's week one, and already i'm hoping for week ten.
and i have been MBTI-ing lots the past few days, in an attempt to relieve my own inertia. I'm an ISFJ; my good friends Jan, Raine and Juan are INFJ, ISTJ and ESFJ respectively. I've also managed to find myself a polar opposite (ENTP) in Chong Keng. teehee.
ISFJ: I Serve Family/Friends Joyfully
yes, which is why: i need someone who can know my character and yet not abuse it.
Sunday, March 20, 2005
but what holds me back is financial worries - the thought of who will pay for my parents, house and etc if i stop working.
yeah well God showed me a door last week. Not an open one, LOL, too early to BE open for me since i'm bonded till 7/2006. but a door.
saw e pp i used to PT with in uni.. running programmes etc in diff schs. well they run progs in my sch too, and i thank God tt i managed to keep the favour of men and still can talk to them and relate..
yes, God opened my mind to a new set of possibilities. This is a door.. perhaps not the door I will walk through in the future, but it opens my eyes and casts down my 'impossible-to-SOT-and-support-family-simultaneously" mindset. there ARE ways and means.
hope you like the new, deconstructed, minimalist look.
will put back my links and cbox once irritating blogskins is up and i can figure out how to toggle my blogarea.
images ripped from http://donghaeng.net a really nice site. tip: scroll to bottom and look for 'english site' before entering. teehee.
Saturday, March 19, 2005
the tauhuay i lugged home from Selegie to Yew Tee on Wednesday still languishes in the fridge uneaten.
Wadeva.. *rolls eyes*
So I ate it myself, lor.
As an aside, I can now understand why pp like to eat cold tauhuay.. very nice and refreshing on a hot day. unfortunately, today is not hot lah.
Today is very cold and windy.. the kind of day that makes you wish for HOT tauhuay instead.
Better luck next time!
Btw, an email from my fave Mikey's Funnies:
For the workplace
The Lord is my real boss, and I shall not want.
He gives me peace, when chaos is all around me.
He gently reminds me to pray and do all things without murmuring and complaining.
He reminds me that HE is my source (and not my job.)
He restores my sanity everyday and guides my decisions that I might honor him in all that I do.
Even though I face an absurd amount of e-mails, system crashes, unrealistic deadlines, budget cutbacks, gossiping co-workers, discriminating supervisors and an aging body that doesn't cooperate every morning, I still will not stop - for He is with me!
His presence, His peace, and His power will see me through.
He raises me up, even when they fail to promote me.
He claims me as His own, even when the company threatens to let me go.
His faithfulness and love are better than any bonus check.
His retirement plan beats every 401k there is!
When it's all said and done, I'll be working for Him a whole lot longer and for that, I bless His name!
Monday, March 14, 2005
Went into the HOD room today to help Ade Lam look for her CCA records.
And sheesh, like the excellent admin people I've always known we would be, the College actually keeps the records of all students from even 30 years ago.
I couldn't resist. I bent down to the file drawer and pulled out the CT file for 96S71.
It surprises me to see some of the comments made by my former teachers about me. I'll try to put down as much as I remember:
TAC, my CT/Chem: Weak in some subjects. Needs a sense of discipline (Yes, true, I admit it.. how prophetic, I struggle with disciplining myself even now)
ALK, GP: She makes me laugh (wahahahahahaha). BTW, my predicted grade for GP was an A1.. oh man I REALLY did screw it up din i! From an A1 to a C5.. *sheesh*
LWK, Bio: something along the lines of 'enthusiastic' and tries hard..
Beng2, Maths: Quiet (OMG me quiet?? You Sure Or Not!) and tries hard..
Mr Ong JY, Physics (woohoo, shows how much attention I paid in class for Physics, I dun even remb him as my physics tutor.. oops) =P Tries hard..
Have learnt as a teacher, now, that writing 'tries hard' means you've more or less screwed up your results and they're trying to make it sound good. Sheesh..
Oh no, I just blew my own cover, right?
Now all of my 75 pp will know what it means when I write 'tries hard' on their progress report! Oh man, I have to think of more euphemisms already. But hey, I dun want to get you all flamed by your parents, so that's why I write 'tries hard', yes? =)
By the by, my predicted grdes for A levels were ABBC/A1. Well I guess I kinda disappointed with my ABBB/C5, no? Almost there, but not quite.. erpz..
I am by the way now staring at my screen on the first day of sch hols, back here to babysit the J1s on course with Rose. My brain is quite dead after the past hectic week. Heck, I counted that I slept 22 hours in 6 days. That worked out to be something like 3 hours plus a day only?? But yet, I am glad, I am glad, for the mighty miracles that have been done over the last few days. I am glad for His grace and the privilege I have to serve Him. I will blog about this when I can do the topic more justice (ie. when I am not so tired it takes me three solid hours to write ONE reference letter). And yes, I am looking forward to the next time. Amen.
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
Take now. In total honesty, I'm tired, work's piling up and I'm really feeling the hunger pangs but shall ignore them because it's Tuesday and it's Week 10. I'm being *determinedly positive* and bouncing around saying hi and giving out virtual flowers, rainbows and stars to everyone I see on IM. Dun say I 'kek' eh. My exterior, fortunately, is a true reflection of my interior; as I keep on singing "And I, trust You to lead me on" and irritating those around me, I'm meditating on the verses of the song and making them real in my life. Yeah, so what if I'm FREAKING tired after a total of six hours of sleep over two days. SO what if I'm lecturing tomorrow. SO WHAT if I have lots of work to churn out. I love my life! And it's genuine, and I'm not 'kek-king' it. I am really looking forward to tomorrow, the day after, the day after and so on ad infinitum. Till we reach Sunday, LOL, and then I'll get on with my motivation for the week after.
Yes, you've seen the joy part. *bubbles*
Motivating me this week, the song:
I open my life to You
Lord I want to be pure
Jesus You're breath to my soul
You know what I think what I feel
Jesus I adore You
To You my Savior I will sing
You know me through and through
You're the closest to my heart that One could be
And Jesus I adore You
I love You with the deepest of my soul
I rest inside Your arms
And I trust You to lead me on
Monday, March 07, 2005
I've realised that my greatest joy lies in serving others and making a difference in their lives. Yupp, it's my call to be a servant. Though I struggled for a long time with the physical / time commitments it takes to fulfil my call, I've realised that I will DIE if I don't. Not cos the Holy Spirit will come after me with parang (He is a gentleman, okay) but because I thirst and hunger and desire to do His will so much. It's like oxygen; like water; like food, to serve in His courts. Now I really understand what it means when the Bible says "the joy of the Lord is our strength".. I would not be able to DO so much, if I did not LOVE so much. I'd be dry and stretched and ready to crack at the seams. Yet, every day I long to be in His presence more and more; I eagerly await the day I can next enter His courts and be of service. Yes, physically tired, but not weary in spirit - nor defeated in mindset.
I can hardly wait for next week, when we have Pastor Benny Hinn coming. I can foresee myself running around like a madwoman; I can foresee sore feet, a flat stomach and falling flat on my face every day between Wednesday to Sunday from sheer tiredness. But! I can't wait, because I am so eager to see God's goodness displayed once again. Yeah yeah!
Sunday, March 06, 2005
I am SO proud of each and every one of you, and to say 'I love you' would be the understatement of the year. Seeing everyone back in school yesterday, looking so different and yet still the same, brought back plenty of feelings and memories. Receiving all your sms-es and handshakes, too, humbled me; it is not my credit, guys - it is yours alone, because YOU have worked hard and earned your victory, and it is nothing more than you deserve. Well done!
Believe me, I was in as bad a state as many of you before the results were released, because I do care deeply about how all of you have fared. I don't know if it's because you guys are my first batch, but I was in such a state the whole morning I could barely have tutorial / have prac / go thru lecture. Ugh.
But anyway, our A levels are over; your "once-in-a-lifetime" and my "first-in-a-lifetime". No matter how it has turned out, I believe that it has been for the good; you have become stronger and better people for the experience. Perhaps there are many things you wish you had done differently; and yes, hindsight is ever perfect. But at the very least, you have displayed remarkable courage and fortitude to have gone thru your A's and survived. It is not a small thing.
Thursday, March 03, 2005
The Personality Page
You have to pay to take the test, but you could always do it elsewhere and come to the Personality Page for the *really* detailed analysis (which is free).
Another site with good analysis is here:
Other places you could do the test:
Yepps! I've always been really fascinated with personality analyses, (not your influence, Weilin!) because I believe that to know your strengths and weaknesses is the first step to self-improvement. Have fun!
PS. I am a balanced E/I, strong S, balanced F/T and very strong J. Got this from Humanmetrics, which tells you the percentage difference as well.
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
Yes, before you and I know it, the results have crept up upon us. Excited? Nervous? Kancheong? Panicking? I would probably think most of you are in the last category, and I remember that I was too. But I DO believe you all WILL do well, my dears, because I know how hard you have worked and I know the truth of your calibre. Of course, there will always be thoughts of "but someone else (insert name) did better!" and "I COULD have done more", but my answer to the first is tt "yi1 shan1 zong3 bi3 yi1 shan1 gao1", and my answer to the second is "Of course." Hindsight is ever perfect; knowing what we do, now, we'd probably not have acted the way we did, then. But then again, that's life; I know all of you HAVE worked your reasonable best and will be rewarded.
Perhaps I could just share something with you guys - that sometimes, when God closes one door, it's for the purpose of not allowing us to go down a path that may not be the best for us. For me, I didn't have very good results, because I *really* didn't study as hard as I should have; I got ABBB and a C5 for GP. Sucks right? (as an aside, these would be fairly good results in many other JCs in Singapore, hor!) Well, that effectively dashed my hopes for being a doctor / lawyer, which were my two career considerations at the time. Not knowing better, I simply wanted to take up those courses because they were prestigious, and held the hope of making lots of moolah in future. But now, looking back, precisely because my results closed the doors to these two courses, I went into Science in NUS and discovered my calling for this season - to be a teacher. Yeah, many people would say my job is less-than-prestigious and encourage me to change career, but I really believe in what I am doing and that it makes a difference to peoples' lives. If you'd offer me the chance to be a doctor now, I would still be tempted; but I would go on in the knowledge that I've fulfilled my calling and purpose for the right season in my life. Of course, I'm not saying that you guys will end up like me - I believe many of you are more mature than I used to be, and desire the things you desire for a good and noble purpose beyond simple self-gratification. But for me, looking back, I realise it WAS actually a very good thing that my results 'forced' me into Science. I doubt I would be happier as anything else, and in any other place than I am now.
I might sound senseless to you, if you're not a Christian, but allow me to quote a verse, Romans 8:28:
"For we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, who are the called according to His purpose".
Look forward, my dears, not with trepidation and fear, but with excitement that you are moving on to a new phase of your lives. And have the confidence that it WILL really all turn out okay in the end. 03S70 rocks!
OH YES!!!! PS: 05S70 won the best blog competition! wahaha!
Okay, whatever. I mean, yes, it should be hypersensitive, because that's what my immune system is! Sheesh!
Let's dwell on hypersensitivity, in the immune sense of the word, for a while.
When the immune system encounters a 'foreign invader', or pathogen, it mounts an immune response. This is all to the good, but what happens with MY immune system is that it mounts responses to all and sundry. To the point that my allergies are not even describable, and therefore labelled as 'atopic'. Well done.
So, the newest addition to my long list of symptoms:
Right. Welcome, oh conjunctiva, to the realm of the anyhow-also-will-inflame.
Apparently, it's inherited together with allergic rhinitis (I also have), atopic eczema (check), and asthma (uh-huh). Congratulate me, I have the entire spectrum! Full penetrance in my case. Add to that food and drug allergies, and I'm SO surprised I'm not rejecting every molecule that floats my way. Sheesh.
So, back to my daily regimen of creams and eyedrops. I'm supposed to have pills and inhalers too, but I'm too lazy to partake. Nah.
Interestingly, allergies are a product of our times; in our sanitized urban environments, gone are the persistent low levels of exposure to environmental haptens that desensitize our immune system. Thus, upon exposure, we the cocooned over-react and come up with hypersensitivity-type reactions. Man. What I'm saying is, babes, don't keep your house too clean. I'll go home and tell my mother that too. Yayness. Perhaps it will save me from having to mop the floor next Chinese New Year.
Drat. We always say we need a thick skin and thin heart; I think both my heart and skin are too thin for my good. Drat! Drat my antigen-presenting cells! Drat my dendritic cells! ARGH!
And then lagi better. Not good enough an immune system to resist pimples.
I hate my face.
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
Portrait of an ISFJ - Introverted Sensing Feeling Judging
(Introverted Sensing with Extraverted Feeling)
As an ISFJ, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you takes things in via your five senses in a literal, concrete fashion. Your secondary mode is external, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit into your personal value system.
ISFJs live in a world that is concrete and kind. They are truly warm and kind-hearted, and want to believe the best of people. They value harmony and cooperation, and are likely to be very sensitive to other people's feelings. People value the ISFJ for their consideration and awareness, and their ability to bring out the best in others by their firm desire to believe the best.
ISFJs have a rich inner world that is not usually obvious to observers. They constantly take in information about people and situations that is personally important to them, and store it away. This tremendous store of information is usually startlingly accurate, because the ISFJ has an exceptional memory about things that are important to their value systems. It would not be uncommon for the ISFJ to remember a particular facial expression or conversation in precise detail years after the event occured, if the situation made an impression on the ISFJ.
ISFJs have a very clear idea of the way things should be, which they strive to attain. They value security and kindness, and respect traditions and laws. They tend to believe that existing systems are there because they work. Therefore, they're not likely to buy into doing things in a new way, unless they're shown in a concrete way why its better than the established method.
ISFJs learn best by doing, rather than by reading about something in a book, or applying theory. For this reason, they are not likely to be found in fields which require a lot of conceptual analysis or theory. They value practical application. Traditional methods of higher education, which require a lot of theorizing and abstraction, are likely to be a chore for the ISFJ. The ISFJ learns a task best by being shown its practical application. Once the task is learned, and its practical importance is understood, the ISFJ will faithfully and tirelessly carry through the task to completion. The ISFJ is extremely dependable.
The ISFJ has an extremely well-developed sense of space, function, and aesthetic appeal. For that reason, they're likely to have beautifully furnished, functional homes. They make extremely good interior decorators. This special ability, combined with their sensitivity to other's feelings and desires, makes them very likely to be great gift-givers - finding the right gift which will be truly appreciated by the recipient.
More so than other types, ISFJs are extremely aware of their own internal feelings, as well as other people's feelings. They do not usually express their own feelings, keeping things inside. If they are negative feelings, they may build up inside the ISFJ until they turn into firm judgments against individuals which are difficult to unseed, once set. Many ISFJs learn to express themselves, and find outlets for their powerful emotions.
Just as the ISFJ is not likely to express their feelings, they are also not likely to let on that they know how others are feeling. However, they will speak up when they feel another individual really needs help, and in such cases they can truly help others become aware of their feelings.
(also true.. cannot, cannot, must live a more balanced life.)
Large, rich inner store of information which they gather about people
Highly observant and aware of people's feelings and reactions
Excellent memory for details which are important to them
Very in-tune with their surroundings - excellent sense of space and function
Can be depended on to follow things through to completion
Will work long and hard to see that jobs get done
Stable, practical, down-to-earth - they dislike working with theory and abstract thought
Dislike doing things which don't make sense to them
Value security, tradition, and peaceful living
Service-oriented: focused on what people need and want
Kind and considerate
Likely to put others' needs above their own
Learn best with hands-on training
Enjoy creating structure and order
Take their responsibilities seriously
Extremely uncomfortable with conflict and confrontation
ISFJs have two basic traits which help define their best career direction:
1) they are extremely interested and in-tune with how other people are feeling, and
2) they enjoy creating structure and order, and are extremely good at it.
Ideally, the ISFJ will choose a career in which they can use their exceptional people-observation skills to determine what people want or need, and then use their excellent organizational abilities to create a structured plan or environment for achieving what people want. Their excellent sense of space and function combined with their awareness of aesthetic quality also gives them quite special abilities in the more practical artistic endeavors, such as interior decorating and clothes design.
ISFJs place a great deal of importance on their personal relationships. They're generally very giving and loving people, who place the needs of others above their own. They sometimes have a problem with becoming overly emotionally needy, and with keeping their true feelings hidden from others. They take their commitments very seriously, and seek lifelong relationships. ISFJs are extremely dependable, and put forth a lot of energy into keeping things running smoothly. They sometimes have difficulty saying "no" when asked to do something, and therefore may be taken for granted.
Warm, friendly and affirming by nature
Service-oriented, wanting to please others
Will put forth lots of effort to fulfill their duties and obligations
Excellent organizational capabilities
Good at taking care of practical matters and daily needs
Usually good (albeit conservative) at handling money
Take their commitments seriously, and seek lifelong relationships
Don't pay enough attention to their own needs
May have difficulty branching out into new territory
Extreme dislike of conflict and criticism
Unlikely to express their needs, which may cause pent-up frustrations to build inside
Have difficulty leaving a bad relationship
Have difficulty moving on after the end of a relationship
ISFJs as Lovers
ISFJs are committed to their relationships. They have very intense feelings, which is not immediately apparent to others because they tend to hold things inside themselves without expressing them, unless they have a strong reason to do so. Their intensity of feeling makes their intimate relationship their first priority in life, with the possible exception of God. They seek monogamous, lifelong commitments, and can be depended upon to be faithful and loyal to their mates once they have made a commitment.
ISFJs have a difficult time leaving a relationship which is bad, or accepting that a relationship is over. They tend to put all of the blame on their own shoulders, and wonder what they should have done to make things work out. If they have been loyal to their vows and have done their duties, they will be at a complete loss as to what went wrong, and will have great difficulty accepting the end. They are "true blue" lovers, and may even remain faithful to their deceased partners.
ISFJs tend to be very selfless, and to put the needs of others well before their own needs. This may backfire on them, if they get into a situation in which they are taken advantage of, and do not have a good outlet for their strong emotions. In this kind of situation, the ISFJ might bottle up their feelings inside them, and form strong resentments against others. The ISFJ should work on recognizing their own needs, and place some importance on meeting them, rather than always putting the needs of others first. After all, if you can't take care of yourself, how can take care of someone else?
Sexually, the ISFJ sees intimacy as a tangible way of strengthening their relationship bonds. They also see as something of a duty, and are likely to be more interested in serving their partner than in their own personal satisfaction. Although the ISFJ is not likely to be very wordy about expressing their love and affection, they're likely to do so through their deeds, and will deeply value their partner's responding affirmations.
The ISFJ is very warm and selfless. They'll put forth tremendous amounts of energy and time into doing what they feel is ther duty. What makes them feel best about themselves is when others show them their appreciation of the ISFJ. Consequently, the best gift that the partner of an ISFJ can give them is the expression of their love and appreciation.
ISFJs have difficulty with conflict situations, and would much prefer to just sweep things under the rug. Sometimes facing a conflict situation helps to resolve it, and the ISFJ should realize that the world will not end if they face the conflict, and express how they feel about it. A conflict situation is not necessarily a "problem" which needs to be gotten rid of, and it is also not necessarily the ISFJ's fault. It's a common problem for ISFJ's to not express their feelings until pushed to some limit, after which they explode in anger and say things which they later feel they shouldn't have said. These kinds of outbursts can be reduced by expressing their feelings on a more regular basis, rather than keeping them pent up inside.
In general, the ISFJ is usually a traditional, family-minded individual who places the comfort of their mates and families as their first priority in life. They're great for providing for everyday basic needs, and have a depth of caring which is very unusual, and not found in most types. They highly invested in the health of their relationships, and will work very hard to make things run smoothly. They are dependable and affectionate lovers.
Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy relationship, the ISFJ's natural partner is the ESTP, or the ESFP. ISFJ's dominant function of Introverted Sensing is best matched with a partner whose dominant function is Extraverted Sensing.
ISFJs as Friends
Although the ISFJ is likely to place God and family above their friends in their priorities, they genuinely enjoy spending time with friends and colleagues. In fact, ISFJs usually feel a strong need to talk problems and issues over with people before making decisions on their actions. Some ISFJs like to discuss things over with their friends, rather than their families.
ISFJs enjoy spending time with most other types of people. The love to observe people's reactions and emotions in situations, and so enjoy being around diverse types of people. The ISFJ usually remains reserved around others, and does not open up very much. However, since they have a need to talk things over with others in order to make decisions, they do really need some close confidantes in their life. Their preference for these companions are other Sensing Feeling Judgers. They really enjoy and respect the company of Intuitive Feelers as well, but are not able to relate to them quite as well.
Friends of the ISFJ will value them for their warmth, dependability, depth of emotional awareness and understanding.
ISFJ Personal Growth
What does Success mean to an ISFJ?
ISFJs are the homemakers, carers and facilitators of the world. Their strong sense of duty, hard-working tendencies and ability to respond quickly to what is suitable to a particular situation are great assets. With a dominant function that quickly grasps the qualities inherent within the external world, and a secondary function that weighs such perceptions against their value within this world, the ISFJ has a great talent for discovering the aesthetic and essential qualities compatible with and relevant to a particular real world situation. This means that, not only within the world of objects, but also in their relationships with people, ISFJs are gifted with the ability to recognize and understand the comfort and surroundings suitable to a secure and pleasing existence. And they can do this with a decisiveness which might make others wonder if the ISFJ was not in fact getting their answers from some form of intuitive understanding rather than what is really a vast library of carefully related memory images and value judgments. An ISFJ will always feel best when their world a place of quality and reassurance, both for themselves and others. Success for an ISFJ means being able to fulfil a role providing value for others and ordering their world in a way in which safety and security is balanced against a genuine respect for the aesthetic and positive qualities of life.
Allowing Your ISFJ Strengths to Flourish
As an ISFJ, you have gifts that are specific to your personality type that aren't natural strengths for other types. By recognizing your special gifts and encouraging their growth and development, you will more readily see your place in the world, and how you can better use your talents to achieve your dreams.
Nearly all ISFJs will recognize the following characteristics in themselves. They should embrace and nourish these strengths:
· You are adept at seeing the right balance, the best way to make the world look and feel good. This talent enables you to make your world reflect your inner self and become a place of security and growth in which others can feel at ease too.
· You have a gift for knowing what will make another person feel better about the world and themselves. Your valuable input to their world comes back to you in ways which aid your own personal development.
· You see clearly what is right and wrong, what grates on yourself and others, what works for harmony and what does not. Your clear recognition of these things gains you the confidence and respect of others.
· You have a great memory for things, places and events, their curious details and the relationships between them. More than this, you also remember what was both good and bad about these things. These skills show in your ability to give no nonsense advice and aid to others
· Within yourself you know, even if others do not realise it, that for as long as they are trying to do their best, you will hold the line with them to the very end. You see this as simply doing the right thing, but in fact it is a special virtue and makes you one of the most worthy of partners and friends when the chips are down.
· You work hard to get the job done, and you can be counted on the stay with it till it is finished.
ISFJs who have a strongly expressed Extraverted Feeling function will find they also enjoy these very special gifts:
· Work is never a chore to you, but a gift you offer to the world.
· In your relationships you are able to clearly show others how you feel about them.
· Others will always feel at ease in your home and presence.
· Your efforts always seem to be appreciated by those around you.
· You will try to find pleasing ways to settle differences and to find the most satisfying solutions to both your own and others difficulties.
· More often than not, you will know exactly the right thing to do, say, buy or create to make things better or move things toward a valid human solution to a problem
· You will clearly see the conditions underlying a situation and their effects on the persons within it, enabling you to see ways of changing things for the better. In this sense, you may be a powerful agent for social justice.
Potential Problem Areas
With any gift of strength, there is an associated weakness. The strong expression of any function can overshadow others, whilst at the same time its own associated and unexpressed inferior function can mine the unconscious mind and throw up annoying resistances and unsettling emotions. We value our strengths, but we often curse and - even more limiting to our potential development - ignore our weaknesses. To grow as a person and get what we want out of life, we must not only capitalize upon our strengths, but also face our weaknesses and deal with them. That means taking a hard look at our personality type's potential problem areas.
ISFJs are kind, steady and responsible beings with many special gifts. I would like for the ISFJ to keep in mind some of the many positive things associated with being an ISFJ as they read some of this more negative material. Also remember that the weaknesses associated with being an ISFJ are natural to your type. Although it may be depressing to read about your type's weaknesses, please remember that we offer this information to enact positive change. We want people to grow into their own potential, and to live happy and successful lives.
Many of the weaker characteristics that are found in ISFJs are due to their dominant and Introverted Sensing function overshadowing the rest of their personality. This generally results in two notable effects: their Extraverted Feeling function is unable to balance their sharply rendered inner perceptions with a sense of human value, whilst at the same time these very perceptions often hint at strange associations and consequences which seem always to hover darkly in the background of the world
In such cases, an ISFJ may show some or all of the following weaknesses in varying degrees:
May find difficulty expressing their feelings without fear or anger.
May be unable to correctly judge what really is for the best
May wrongly suspect others of having hidden motives or agendas
May be unable to shrug off feelings impending disaster
May be unable to acknowledge or hear anything that goes against their certainty about the “correct” or “right” way to do things
May have a tendency to blame particular persons for disturbing or upsetting “their world” by simply being who they are
May come across to others as cold and insensitive to anything but another’s ability to fit in with and support their own judgements
May be unnecessarily harsh or strict about appropriate social behaviour
May be oblivious to what others think about them
May come across as rigid, inflexible or even cold and uncaring to others, without being aware of it
May be unable to understand verbal logic, and quickly cut off other’s explanations
May value their own certainties about the world and its problems far above others
May be quite falsely certain of their influence upon, and understanding of others
May be extremely vulnerable to tricks, con men, false hopes, religious cults and conspiracy theories
May react with anger or distress when someone expresses disagreement with their view of the world, or disapproval of their judgements
May favour their judgements to the degree that they are unable to notice the pain or difficulty such judgements might cause others
Under great stress, are likely to make outrageously harsh and uncaringly selfish survival oriented decisions
Explanation of Problems
Nearly all of the problematic characteristics described above can be attributed in various degrees to the ISFJs internally mapped and abstract view of the world not being successfully coupled to an appropriate level of Extroverted feeling. Without this rational external balance, the ISFJs opposing unconscious functions can wreak havoc upon the order and sense of the ISFJs perceptions and ideas. ISFJs are usually stable, certain, reliable and deft in their approach to life. But if unbalanced, they are likely to treat any point of view other than their own with a kind of cold dismay, and if pressed hard will tend to shut out the existence of problems caused by others differing attitudes and opinions. If the ISFJ does not learn how to deal with the wide range of differing world views they come into contact with, they can find themselves closed into a lonely little corner of the world in which only their own feelings of safety and certainty are maintained. This is a natural survival technique for the extreme ISFJ personality.
The main driver to the ISFJ personality is Introverted Sensing, whose function is to define the properties of and locate and recognise the sometimes abstract and innate qualities of and between the objects of the outer world. If an ISFJs picture of the world is threatened by external influences, the ISFJ generally tries to shut such new information out of their lives. This is totally natural, and works well to protect the individual psyche from getting hurt. However, the ISFJ who exercises this type of self-protection regularly will become closed within a small and ever decreasing circle of those family and friends who do not actively disturb their increasingly narrow and rigid world view. They will always find justification for their own inappropriate behaviours, and will always find fault with the outside world for problems that they have in their lives. It will be difficult for them to maintain close personal relationships because they will have a negatively polarised and therefore limited ability to communicate outside of the box of their own security needs.
It is not an uncommon tendency for the ISFJ to support their ideas and values by using only the value judgements they make about the world and other peoples behaviour. However, if this tendency is given free reign, the resulting ISFJ personality is too self-centred to be happy or successful. Since the ISFJ's dominant function is Introverted Sensing, they must balance this with an auxiliary Extraverted Feeling function. If the ISFJ uses Extraverted Feeling only to serve the purposes of Introverted Sensing, then the ISFJ is not using Extraversion effectively at all. As a result, the ISFJ does not sufficiently recognise and sympathise with the way feelings effect the behaviour of others in the world to have a good sense of why things happen as they do. They see nothing but their own perspective, and deal with the world only so far as they need to in order to support their perspective. These individuals usually come across as somewhat judgemental and full of fixed and often rather ambiguously polarised ideas about the world. Other people are often surprised by the vehemence of their ideas and are usually unable to understand how they came by them.
To grow as an individual, the ISFJ needs to focus on opening their perspective to include a more accurate picture of the feelings and value judgements of others. In order to be in a position in which the ISFJ is able to perceive and consider data that is foreign to their internal value system, the ISFJ needs to recognise that their world view is not threatened by the new information. The ISFJ must consciously tell himself/herself that emotional affects in others are not unrelated to reality; that the feelings of others are also just and valid within a wider and less rigorous vision of the world.
The ISFJ who is concerned with personal growth will pay close attention to their motivation for deciding what is good and bad, right and wrong. Do they try to find the feeling values of others in a situation? Or, do they value only those feelings which support a personal idea or cause? At the moment when something is felt, is the ISFJ only concerned with whether that feeling supports something they recognise as correct? Or is she/he concerned with becoming truly empathetic? To achieve a better understanding of others and the world in which they live, the ISFJ should try to put themselves into the minds of others, to locate and recognise how they have come to feel the way they do, before making judgements. They should consciously be aware of their tendency to discard anything that doesn't agree with their carefully ordered concepts, and work towards lessening this tendency. They should try to feel the way others would feel in situations, without making personal judgments about the actual situations. In general, they should work on exercising their Feeling in a truly extraverted sense. In other words, they should use Feeling to locate the their true connections to and relationship with others for the sake of gaining a wider perspective, rather than only allowing such feeling values to support their own conclusions. The ISFJ who successfully feels things objectively may be quite a powerful force for positive change.
Living Happily in our World as an ISFJ
Some ISFJs have difficulty fitting into our society. Their problems are often a result of an inability to flow with what is, a too negative or correcting attitude which dismays others, or unrealistic ideals and ideas about the world. These issues mostly stem from using Extraverted Feeling in a diminished manner: the lack of a strong externally focused value system allowing an often ambiguous and yet strongly defended world view which has little relation to concrete reality to control the personality. An ISFJ who attempts to feel and value the feelings of others for the sake of understanding the world around them, rather than quickly deciding how they and they alone feel, will have a clearer, more objective understanding of how society is dependant not only upon structure and correct behaviour, but also how human values make it just what it is and not something else perhaps more desirable. He or she will also be more comfortable and less likely to demand that the world and the behaviour of others conform to some abstract code of being. Such well-adjusted ISFJs will fit happily into our society. Unless you really understand Psychological Type and the nuances of the various personality functions, it's a difficult task to suddenly start to use Feeling in an unambiguous and totally extraverted direction. It's difficult to even understand what that means, much less to incorporate that directive into your life. With that in mind, I am providing some specific suggestions that may help you to begin exercising your Extraverted Feeling more fully:
Take care to try and discover why others feel the way they do. Try to notice the connections between their feelings and the way they see the world. Don’t immediately compare your own value judgements about the world to theirs; simply accept that for them this is a real and perfectly valid way of responding.
Think of those times and situations in your life when you felt misunderstood or disregarded by others. Now try to understand how one or two other people would see the situation. Don't try to assume they would judge as you do: "she would have to feel the same way if that happened to her", or "he would change his tune if he saw things from my point of view". Rather, try to understand how they would truly see the situation. Would it be seen as a problem, or as an opportunity? Would it be taken seriously or lightly? Try to determine their point of view without passing judgment or comparing it to your own.
When having a conversation with a friend or relative, dedicate at least half of your time to finding out how the other person feels about what they are describing. Concentrate on really sensing their emotional state. Tell them how you feel and compare. Ask questions about why they feel as they do.
Think of the people who are closest to you. As you think of each person, tell yourself "this person has their own life going on, and they are more concerned with their own life than they are with mine." Remember that this doesn't mean that they don't care about you. It's the natural order of things. Try to visualize what that person is feeling right now. What emotions are they enacting, what thoughts are they having? Don't pass judgment, or compare their situation to your own.
Try to identify the personality type of everyone that you come into contact with for any length of time.
Ten Rules to Live By to Achieve ISFJ Success
1. Feed Your Strengths! Let your talent for recognising harmony and balance spill out into the world around you, show your gifts to the world. Allow yourself to take opportunities to design, reorganise and rebalance things to make your home and work environments better for yourself and others. Find work or a hobby which allows you to realise these strengths.
2. Face Your Weaknesses! Realize and accept that some things are never going to be how you would like them to be. Understand that other peoples feelings are sometimes more important than whether they are right or wrong. Facing and dealing with discord or differences in others doesn't mean that you have to change who you are; it means that you are giving yourself opportunities to grow. By facing your weaknesses, you honour your true self and that of others.
3. Discover the World of Others. Don't let yourself fall into the trap of thinking you always know what is right for others. Open your heart to the possibility of understanding that their true needs are something that must be discovered through relationship, and recognition that their world might be very different, yet just as valid as your own.
4. Don’t be too hasty. Try to let things settle before you make a judgement, allowing others to discover the best for themselves while you feel your way into their way of seeing things.
5. Look Carefully at the World. Remember, things are not always what they seem on the surface. You might need to look deeper to discover the truth, particularly when it seems you are sure of your first quick judgement. There are layers of meaning and truth beneath everything.
6. Try to Let Others Take Some of the Load. By letting others help, you are not letting things get out of control, but are validating their own need to be a part of your life. Remember, it is better to guide another to see your point of view than keeping them out of the picture.
7. Be Accountable to Others. Remember that they need to understand you and your needs too. Express your feelings and reasons and let them become partners to your goals.
8. Don’t Hem Yourself in. Staying in your comfort zone is self defeating in the end. Try to make every day one where you get out and discover a little something different about the world and others. This will broaden your horizons and bring new ideas and opportunities into focus.
9. Assume the Best and Seek for it. Don't wait for others to live up to your expectations. Every person has a goldmine of worth in them, just as every situation can be turned to some good. If you let yourself believe this, you will find yourself discovering ways to make it true for you.
10. When in Doubt, Ask For Help! Don't let your sense of self sufficiency leave you on the horns of a dilemma or lead you into disaster. If you are uncertain of something or someone then get input from others you trust.