Tuesday, August 29, 2006


Too much to write, for a short blog entry to capture it all.
- hospitality - generosity - uni dorm life - communal showers - communal canteen foodeating - excellent service - truckloads of money splashed out - cool posters - great OP - hills hills and more HILLS - stairs stairs and more stairs - bad english! -

have a nice time staring at cute dog while i wait for more time to come my way.

Gentlemen, start your engines.. swipe!

Cattiness in the world of car ads. Heh.

Friday, August 18, 2006

Technology advances so fast

Behold the floating bed / Levitation, thy name is reality.

Given that its suspended by magnetic repulsion though, would a punk having such a bed be stuck to e sides of e bed by all the studs and piercings. Heh.

And your handphone and lappy and ipod would go haywire too given the magnetic field.

No more lying on bed to fidget with electronics gadget, only able to sleep.

Maybe that's why its worth the whole 1.2 million euros.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006


Stop reading if you are my student, my colleague, anyone who has anything to do with school. I don’t need any more flak from that direction.

It has been a desperately unhappy year because of the different things I have started to do or are trying to do. And there is never anyone to blame except myself. Since responsibilities are new, syllabus is new, programmes are new, methods are new, actually technically I am new too aren’t I? I got no advantage over anyone else in terms of dealing with these things. Yet though I am new, everyone else is new-er and so I bear all the burden myself. Am I really expected to know and do everything? Seems like I am and yet it seems like an impossibility that I can. But no, everyone else is newer, more loaded, not fair to load them more, or whatever. No one to turn to for help. I will just have to dig through all the work myself and hope I am not actually blindly digging my own grave again. Done the own grave part already, if I were a cat with 9 lives I would have dug graves for 8 of them already.

Ya, the standards must be maintained. The show must go on. Yet, I wonder how many people at my workplace are aware of exactly how much of a show it is. Happiness is a show, enthusiasm is a show, availability is a show, willingness to talk to people is even a show too. Pretense is an art I have never employed so much in my life. The reality is depression, a sense of inexorable impending doom and an unending race to catch up with the increasing amount of things demanded. Seems like the most important part of teaching, which is helping my students and making relationships with them, is sidelines and buried under all the other stuff that needs to be done.

I have considered resigning, stepping down, asking to go back to be a normal teacher in charge of students council. I have considered all and done none of it. Because of my hateful, hateful sense of responsibility that says ‘you got to finish what you promised to do’. Yet I supposed I walked into it with my eyes wide shut not knowing how much work it was going to be. Hell, I suspect even my supervisors never expected so much things needed when they gave me all my portfolios last year. But done is done and cannot be undone and so I will remain, trying but never succeeding. Am I holding my self back?? I hardly think so. But my best is just not good enough.

I want to sleep myself into oblivion, dream myself back in time to when I first started out teaching and truly did the important stuff like making a difference to students lives. Ya it was tough too but nowhere, nowhere near as lonely as what I am doing now. Never been so true that, to those whom much is given, much is required.

But I never knew these requirements would be so devoid of joy.

I live for my weekends now, (hah! Not for shopping or recreation!) but because serving flat out at church helps me take my mind off doing all these things I have come to hate and dread. Even though it tired me and give me aching feet, I am happy in being able to serve others, in being able to teach and disciple my ushers, and that is my only source of joy nowadays.

My God I am so upset even my English has gone down the drain. Bah.

End of rant, back to work. Cannot even afford the time to stop and cry.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Afterthoughts on FOP/Anni

It has been completely tiring, stretching and amazing being through that weekend with 2 supports, 3 FOP services and 1 Anniversary service. Not to mention moving stuff back and forth from Expo to Indoor Stadium and Jurong West. Ugggghhhh.

But I must say, we have truly made a difference at the FOP and Anniversary services, it would not have been the same without the usher ministry. I really felt our effort in trafficking the people, filling up empty seats, placing bulletins, envelopes, DVDs, bookmarks and all sorts of stuff were worthwhile when u see how happy the people are and how much they enjoy themselves. I was very touched by all the ushers who came back to serve event after event, till I even was slightly 'sian' of seeing the same faces at West by the last FOP service - but knowing they are as tired as me or even more but yet still made the effort to stand in the gap was a huge motivating factor that kept me going on.

Big thanks to ALL of you have made a difference in the West zone!

Esther - For your trust in me and allowing me to run the West, for being not only a leader but also a friend

Jing - For being there throughout even thru ur "Chinese Sinseh Torture" aftermath and being sick with migraine..That I never even realised till after the whole weekend was over. You have truly taught me how to persevere and keep on keeping on.

Flo - For being such a great help and having so much energy when I was flagging!

Raine - For sharing the angst. Hehehehehehehehehe. And also for standing in my place on the last night when I CMI already... Sigh, how irritating to fight 90% of the battle and then go down, but yes thank you!

Zhixiu - For doing the same corner zone uncomplainingly throughout all the 4 services we serve together..

Peifen - For helping me to compile contact lists, for taking on the entire terrace by yourself and for being a super-reliable pillar of support

Jeffrey - Funny, funny jeffrey.. Hahahaha! For standing in the corner faithfully even though you couldn't hear the sermon - then again you proved that you wouldn't have understood it even had I shifted you to the middle of the zone - for your M&Ms in time of need, for just basically being a pillar of [very tall] familiarity throughout.

Soo Eng - For so bravely sticking out the Saturday night at TTSH A&E with the "hole" in your leg - You are a fantastically courageous young lady, hope you get well soon!

Jayme - For standing faithfully at the curtain for the entire service. Must have been a big culture shock for you - first time ushering curtains! Love, your esteemed Directory Assistance personnel hehehehehe.

Jing Xuan - For making the effort to come down at the last minute on the last FOP night

Rachel - For your hair-raising arena-gate closing encounter and also for making the effort to rush back for FOP last service

Irwin - For your great attitude and enthusiasm on FOP night 1

William - For so willingly helping out wherever I send you to, be it External traffic or East or West.. Sorry for sending you all over the country, but you did a great job nonetheless!

Adrian - For allowing me to hijack you on the last night (sorry!) and I still owe you money! Will pay you ASAP.

To all the leaders of 4S5 for making it happen, wherever you were, for your days and nights of untiring-ly calling your ushers again and again and again, I strongly believe we as 4S5 gave the best possible support to the weekend.



.. I find myself wanting to take more pictures and give more hugs to my scruffy dog, for sudden unfounded worry that he may not be around for me to hug for much longer.

Yes, even in his ugly, scraggly, shorn-hairless state.

mummy is a gorgeous cook..

.. the two days at home for the N-day holidays are bound to make me fat.

Monday, August 07, 2006

Gentleness makes us great.

Jesus' gentleness made us great.

Ever realised that? He could have scolded and berated and fired His disciples when they screwed up and made mistakes. After all, He knows better than anyone else on earth the importance of His mission. Even the best that the disciples gave could only be less than perfect as they are after all still human. In comparison to His understanding, to His wisdom, to His anointing, how theirs must have paled. Yet He kept on giving them second chances, third chances and kept on encouraging them.

Hmm but how about us?
Based on our limited understanding, wisdom and abilities, we presume to correct those "below" us. Yes, they need to be corrected and helped to improve, but let it be done with gentleness and encouragement. No need to be harsh, the occasion does not call for it. Gentle correction works better than fierce words because gentleness carries love. So you would know the person correcting you is doing it because he loves you and wants you to improve.

Your gentleness makes others great.

Think about it.

1 Corinthians 16:14 - Let all that you do be done with love.

i always wanted to be a heart-throb..

..but i got to be a head-throb instead..

head. throb.
head. throb.
head. throb.


Wednesday, August 02, 2006

You know something's not right with the world..

.. when a GUY drives a Hello Kitty car he modified HIMSELF.
Note the lovingly handsewn seat covers, pink (yes OMGpink) exterior, ruffles around the gearstick and setbelts.

Oh dear.

At least the poor car is a Perodua Kancil, fitting in size for such modifications.

See THIS..

Poor Ferrari.