Thursday, September 30, 2004

eat sleep drink

somewhere, a vague recollection flits across my mind that i haven't had dinner yet.
another struggles to the surface of my consciousness - that there isn't anything to eat at home.
sheesh!

maybe it's my mother's way of helping me lose weight!

and i have a busy weekend ahead.. tralalalala.. and i have 1700 pages more of marking to go.. woohoo..

a taste of my sched from tomoro onwards:
thu - sch, seab mtg, tn, cg
fri - sch, children's church, door usher, mebbe oscar? haha i'm the famous last min replacer for oscar anyway
sat - tn, children's church, svc2 com, svc 3 com, greeters, mebbe oscar again? if sec6 should ask..
sun - logs fullday from 730-5, ab mtg

how? how? how?

with schedules like this, i dun see why i'm still so fat! hah!

c u, blogdom, on monday if i survive!

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

more from mrbrown

Dry cleaners in Bangkok:DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR BEST RESULTS.
In a Nairobi restaurant:CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.
On the grounds of a private school:NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.
On an Arctic River highway:TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.
On a poster at Fight Illiteracy:ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP.
In a City restaurant:OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.
A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer:DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS.
In a maternity ward:NO CHILDREN ALLOWED.
In a cemetery:PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.
Sign in Japanese public bath:FOREIGN GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO PULL COCK IN TUB.
Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.
Hotel room notice in Chiang-Mai, Thailand:PLEASE DO NOT BRING SOLICITORS INTO YOUR ROOM.
Hotel brochure in Italy:THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE. IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE.
In a Tokyo Hotel:IS FORBITTEN TO STEAL HOTEL TOWELS PLEASE. IF YOU ARE NOT PERSON TO DO SUCH THING IS PLEASE NOT TO READ NOTIS.
In another Japanese hotel room:PLEASE TO BATHE INSIDE THE TUB.
In a Bucharest hotel lobby:THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY. DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE.
In a Leipzig elevator:DO NOT ENTER THE LIFT BACKWARDS, AND ONLY WHEN LIT UP.
In a Belgrade hotel elevator:TO MOVE THE CABIN, PUSH BUTTON FOR WISHING FLOOR. IF THE CABIN SHOULD ENTER MORE PERSONS, EACH ONE SHOULD PRESS A NUMBER OF WISHING FLOOR. DRIVING IS THEN GOING ALPHABETICALLY BY NATIONAL ORDER.
In a Paris hotel elevator:PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VALUES AT THE FRONT DESK.
In a hotel in Athens:VISITORS ARE EXPECTED TO COMPLAIN AT THE OFFICE BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 9 AND 11 A.M. DAILY.
In a Yugoslavian hotel:THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
In a Japanese hotel:YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.
In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:NOT TO PERAMBULATE THE CORRIDORS IN THE HOURS OF REPOSE IN THE BOOTS OF ASCENSION.
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.
On the menu of a Polish hotel:SALAD A FIRM'S OWN MAKE; LIMPID RED BEET SOUP WITH CHEESY DUMPLINGS IN THE FORM OF A FINGER; ROASTED DUCK LET LOOSE; BEEF RASHERS BEATEN UP IN THE COUNTRY PEOPLE'S FASHION.
In a Hong Kong supermarket:FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, WE RECOMMEND COURTEOUS, EFFICIENT SELF-SERVICE.
Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:LADIES MAY HAVE A FIT UPSTAIRS.
In a Rhodes tailor shop:ORDER YOUR SUMMERS SUIT. BECAUSE IS BIG RUSH WE WILL EXECUTE CUSTOMERS IN STRICT ROTATION.
From the Soviet Weekly:THERE WILL BE A MOSCOW EXHIBITION OF ARTS BY 15,000 SOVIET REPUBLIC PAINTERS AND SCULPTORS. THESE WERE EXECUTED OVER THE PAST TWO YEARS.
In an East African newspaper:A NEW SWIMMING POOL IS RAPIDLY TAKING SHAPE SINCE THE CONTRACTORS HAVE THROWN IN THE BULK OF THEIR WORKERS.
In a Vienna hotel:In CASE OF FIRE, DO YOUR UTMOST TO ALARM THE HOTEL PORTER.
A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THAT PURPOSE.
In a Zurich hotel:BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.
In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS.
A translated sentence from a Russian chess book: A LOT OF WATER HAS BEEN PASSED UNDER THE BRIDGE SINCE THIS VARIATION HAS BEEN PLAYED.
In a Rome laundry:LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.
In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency:TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS - WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES.
Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?
On the faucet in a Finnish washroom:TO STOP THE DRIP, TURN COCK TO RIGHT.
In the window of a Swedish furrier:FUR COATS MADE FOR LADIES FROM THEIR OWN SKIN.
On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE.
Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan:STOP: DRIVE SIDEWAYS.
In a Swiss mountain inn:SPECIAL TODAY - NO ICE CREAM.
In a Bangkok temple:IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN EVEN A FOREIGNER IF DRESSED AS A MAN.
In a Tokyo bar:SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.
In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.
On the door of a Moscow hotel room:IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO THE USSR, YOU ARE WELCOME TO IT.
In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.
At a Budapest zoo:PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.
In the office of a Romanian doctor:SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.
In an Acapulco hotel:THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.
In a Tokyo shop:OUR NYLONS COST MORE THAN COMMON, BUT YOU'LL FIND THEY ARE BEST IN THE LONG RUN.
From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner:COOLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT JUST CONDITION OF WARM IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.
From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:WHEN PASSENGER OF FOOT HEAVE IN SIGHT, TOOTLE THE HORN. TRUMPET HIM MELODIOUSLY AT FIRST, BUT IF HE STILL OBSTACLES YOUR PASSAGE THEN TOOTLE HIM WITH VIGOR.
Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:ENGLISH WELL TALKING. HERE SPEECHING AMERICAN.
Outside a Paris dress shop:DRESSES FOR STREET WALKING.
One of the Mathare buildings:MENTAL HEALTH PREVENTION CENTER.

GCSE Exam answers that will confirm get you 9 A*s

GCSE Exam answers that will confirm get you 9 A*s!


Supposedly real answers given by 16-year-old British students doing their GCSE Exams last year. (via estpl6 from SPUG forums).. from http://www.mrbrown.com

Geography
Q. Name the four seasons?

A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.


Q Explain the processes by which water can be made safe to drink?

A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q. How is dew formed?

A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.


Q. What is a planet?

A. A body of earth surrounded by sky

Q. What causes the tides in the ocean?

A. The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the Moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Sociology
Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?

A. If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed.


Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections?

A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.

Q. What are steroids?

A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.


Biology
Q. What happens to your body when you age?

A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?

A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.


Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes?

A. Premature death.

Q. What is artificial insemination?

A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?

A. Keep it in the cow (He got an A)

Q. How are the main parts of the body categorised? (e.g. abdomen)

A. The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax, the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowls, A,E,I,O and U.


Q.What is the Fibula?

A. A small lie

Q. What does "varicose" mean?

A. Nearby

Q.What is the most common form of birth control?

A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.

Q.Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section"?

A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome.

Q. What is a seizure?

A. A Roman emperor

Q. What is a terminal illness?

A. When you are sick at the airport

Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?

A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas.


English
Q. What does the word "benign" mean?

A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight.


i have HAD IT!!!

i have HAD IT with all the formatting, collating and proofreading for the mark schemes that i'm churning out! I wonder how editors of magazines survive. Then again, they would probably have gotten properly formatted, spaced, and aligned material from their minions. Not having to clear up spelling, grammatical, spacing and even mark allocation errors, or having to bold / unbold / convert text-to-table and vice versa, changing font size and font face etc etc etc. WAH BIANGS. i'm sorry, my posts are usually not this venom-filled, they are usually warm and fuzzy and cute, but i've been doing my formatting for SIX hours since yesterday, it's holding up my marking and i have a throbbing headache and sore cough and diarrhoea since Sunday. AND to top it off i have just been handed one that DOES NOT even HAVE MARKS ALLOCATED! sheesh! i will probably regret posting this on very soon, especially as many students know my blog address, but i just need to release my frustrations. ARGH. That's what blogs are for, no? i would, on another day, scream and yell and tell lame jokes to release frustration, but i can't even do that now cos i've LOST MY VOICE! oh no! how pathetic is my life! ARGH!!!!!!!!

To my students: everything is actually warm and fuzzy and fine in the Bio department in Hwa Chong, and miss wang is just in an irritated mood. I get like this whenever i've been working on things for too long. think of how you feel when you've been studying the same dang thing for six hours and it doesn't seem like you've made any headway. You know what i mean!

Sunday, September 26, 2004

spiritual things

many things have happened over the past few days.. i think enough drama to last me a month or a year. many people may not agree with me, but i seriously think it's spiritual warfare over the past few days. both in terms of cell group and in ministry - i just feel as if there has been a spiritual 'covering' removed and a lot of spiritual oppression is raining down. suffice to say that i feel burdened for cg as i have never been for a long long time, since the last time i was a cg helper *long* time ago.. i have been fortunate to have leaders who have fully released me into ministry, but that also means that i have not been *as iYi says* involved in the CG much. Yeppz, it's true and I admit it.. i do need to get more involved in CG and in the members' lives. felt that i have really let CGL and CG down in this wk.. when we could have stood together, prayed and fasted and triumphed, we have instead 'succumbed' to spiritual attacks and been defeated. that should never be the case! God has already won the victory for us - He is our Jehovah Nissi, banner - we only have to administer the defeat. hunker down, pray and fast more, ahming!

kind of saddened also by something one of my ushers said.. quite a new usher, but he says that he observed that i do not do anything during ushering - ie. during support, because he never sees me around.. as opposed to some other ushers / leaders. i can tell from his voice that he respects me the less for it. i did not know how to explain to him that i have been absent cos i was busy doing other things.. that i was not present and doing support at support area not because i 'jia zhua' but because i have been running around all the time. so i laughed it off.. but in my heart i felt v sad. not because i want pp to esteem me for being very busy - but because i realise that i failed to connect to my own ushers because i have so many commitments. should i cut down? it's an idea i toyed with at the beginning of the year.. to resign from logis, and ask for less responsibility as a team ic - but that is NOT the solution, stepping back and slacking down should not be the response to challenges. I need to increase my capacity once again.. to balance my commitments in usher with connecting to each of my people. Yes, what 80 said to me a few weeks ago is really prophetic.. that i need to be less D and build up relationships with my ushers and fellow team ICs more. so many areas to improve in.. argh.. CAPACITY!!

Let the prayer of Jabez be my cry: "And Jabez called on the God of Israel saying, "Oh, that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain!" So God granted him what he requested."

Amen..

Thursday, September 23, 2004


one of my fav Mongolia pics.. taken with swee hock's camera..

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

bleddy awkward poetry..

bleddy awkward poetry.. sorry la, long time no write already..

I off-ed my light in the morning
As I prepared to face the day
And it made me stop and ponder
For I finally saw the sun's rays

Shining in the rear window
Warming a privileged patch of wall
I stood and stared a while longer
Then turned and let the shades fall

The neon light had dominated
Whenever work was to be done
Day to night, or night to day
Neon made no difference to one

But yet with that artifice dimmed away
The sun shines brightly still
Patient and faithful, like a lover
Waiting beyond the hill

It is like life, isn't it
At times, work overtakes you
Yet when you lay down your work at last
Life's essence starts shining through

Pure, simple and good light
Hope for a new day
Was it any wonder that I turned
With a smile from the window away?

rolling stone

What the heck?? How surreal is this?!

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her name plate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So, he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation." Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow. The frog says, "$30,000." The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it is okay, he knows the bank manager. Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral. The frog says, "Sure, I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall. Bright pink and perfectly formed. Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says, "There is a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. And he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what IS this?" The bank manager looks back at her and says, "It's a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a rolling stone."

from www.mikeysfunnies.com

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Dames who Dine

inspired, lamely, by the phrase 'Ladies who Lunch'... haha, i'm now part of a bunch of 'dames who dine'.. ahahaha.. have been dinnering out with many people over the last few weeks, as a result of celebrating various assorted occasions. two most recent dines: janice, on 19th sunday, and shirley, on 20th monday. *this will do NOTHING for my ever-expanding waistline or my ever-shrinking wallet at all.. erps!*

was good eating with jan, jer, juan, wenlong, mingshian and liangxin (no joke, that's his real name) on sunday to celebrate jan's birthday. haha, think we made total fools of ourselves at swensen's at bugis. but then again, who cares? =) we got jan a nice necklace from poisson rouge (well at least i think its nice la hor.. =P) in shimmery colour-shifting glass. sorry, the price will not be posted here in case jannesis floats by, but i;m very glad we got that! it's very chio! =)

yesterday was another mad rush for present buying.. met up with ivory (xiang4 ya2 mei4) at far east to get a birthday / farewell present for shirley pang. ended up getting her a sweet bag, very ivory / shirley. along the way, ivory also managed to pick up a denim jacket and a pair of earrings, while i got myself a true fairy skirt - blue and white, floaty and translucent material, haha.. and goldish-silver ballet pumps to match. Hee. every time i go out w de xiangyamei, we always end up spending lots.. we ENCOURAGE and EDIFY each other lots.. ("yes, looks very good on u, buy it!") erpz.. fortunately we dun get to go out that often! =P

anyway, subsequent to present buying, made our way down to fish and co near plaza sing to eat.. wenhui, beatrice, ivory, shirley and mingfeng were there. erps, poor 'feng, only guy among the girls and somemore all at least 4 years older than him! haha.. made the discovery that beatrice, me, wenhui, shirley and ivory were all born one year after another in that order. hey hey.. i'm one of the *old* pp at the table.. oh no..

of course, we talked a lot of nonsense.. many lame jokes.. haha.. which makes people think i am very I.. but seriously, I AM NOT!!!!!!! i am a *serious*, *deep-thinker*, *work-my-butt-off-all-day-long* entity. hahaha.. who believes me.. had it been true i would have a much smaller butt now instead of a tush that JLo would envy.. haha.. erpz! yes, but anyway, for some reason or the other when we started to go on about our respective personalities and temperaments. for those of you who do not know me well, i would come across as a high I.. but it is actually very much an acquired characteristic. =P So is all the D-ness I have garnered over the years. My natural self is more of an S/C - almost no I one, can u believe! =) point of knowing your own temperament well.. chinese says zhi1 ji3 zhi1 bi3, bai3 zhan4 bai3 sheng4.. how true.. when you know yourself and your own strengths and weaknesses, you can learn to rely on your strengths and ask the Holy Spirit to help you in the areas of your weakness. Bible says to "be all things to all men, that all men through you might be saved." if we limit ourselves by confessing and believing "this is my character what, what do u want me to do" (imagine the exasperated tone.. haha) then how to be all things to all men? How to relate, reach out and express love to others who are different from us? precisely why we have to rise above our own natural limitations and work on the areas that we are weak in. for me, for instance, i was (and still am) terribly inept and nervous when it comes to public speaking and leading a group of people. yet, how do i manage to lead ushers and to teach students? i have LEARNT and acquired that ability - it is not inborn! i would not be where i am today without having risen above my own limitations. yuppz, many things still to work on, but the key is to attain a balanced character and temperament, with the ability to bring up different aspects of it at the appropriate times to deal with the situations that come.

Monday, September 20, 2004

actual gcse answers

Actual Student GCSE Answers
This is a compilation of actual student GCSE answers.


1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

2. The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked, "Am I my brother's son?"

3. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.

4. Solomom had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.

5. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.

6. Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.

7. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.

8. In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java.

9. Eventually, the Romans conquered the Greeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long.

10. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee, Brutus."

11. Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torture his subjects by playing the fiddle to them.

12. Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw. Finally Magna Carta provided that no man should be hanged twice for the same offense.

13. In midevil times most people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the futile ages was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verses and also wrote literature.

14. Another story was William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son's head.

15. Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "hurrah."

16. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. And Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper.

17. The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a
heroic couplet. Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet.

18. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.

19. During the Renaissance America began. Christopher Columbus was a great navigator who discovered America while cursing about the Atlantic. His ships were called the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Fe.

20. Later, the Pilgrims crossed the ocean, and this was called Pilgrim's Progress. The winter of 1620 was a hard one for the settlers. Many people died and many babies were born. Captain John Smith was responsible for all this.

21. One of the causes of the Revolutionary War was the English put tacks in their tea. Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the post without stamps. Finally the colonists won the War and no longer had to pay for taxis. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas
Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backwards and declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand." Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.

22. Soon the Constitution of the United States was adopted to secure domestic hostility. Under the constitution the people enjoyed the right to keep bare arms.

23. Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. His mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation.

24. Meanwhile in Europe, the enlightenment was a reasonable time. Voltaire invented electricity and also wrote a book called Candy.

25. Gravity was invented by Issac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in the autumn when the apples are falling off the trees.

26. Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German half Italian and half English. He was very large.

27. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.

28. The French Revolution was accomplished before it happened and catapulted into Napoleon. Napoleon wanted an heir to inherit his power, but since Josephine was a baroness, she couldn't have any children.

29. The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the East and the sun sets in the West.

30. Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years. She was a moral woman who practiced virtue. Her death was the final event which ended her reign.

31. The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men.

32. Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Species. Madman Curie discovered radio. And Karl Marx became one of the Marx brothers.

33. The First World War, caused by the assignation of the Arch-Duck by an anahist, ushered in a new error in the anals of human history.

sorry for the ultra long post.. i JUST COULD NOT HELP IT!!!!!!!!!!!! ahahahaha..

the fruitstall / faith, hope and love

Hey hey.. fruitstall blog's new template's up! Go check it out at http://www.fruitstall.blogspot.com - hee, I'm quite proud of myself cos most of the html is from scratch. Yay.. =P I like the tree tho I wanted it more transparent.. need photo editing software to do that. Next on my target list - hermionejas the sweetie, ur blog will be upcoming soon! Will be a very kuniang and pink template.. haha.. if anyone else wants layouts, I can try, tho given my propensities it will prob end up as an extremely 'niang' layout. Btw I have only barely mastered BM layouts.. dun think it will work on xanga / opendiary / diaryland.. so sorry, I cater to the mainstream. Haha.. econs.. =P


On a more serious note, yuppz I need to learn to disciple more pp and disciple pp more.. haha.. long time ago the Holy Spirit reminded me that I had 'finished' learning and should move on to teaching.. not only in the educational sense but in terms of trying to impart spiritual stuff to others. Have I managed to do that? Not reali eh.. over the past 7 years in usher ministry (haha. Have all of u fainted in shock that I am THAT old?) I have nv managed to rise up even a TIC from scratch - erpz. Well something 85 said that beatrice shared yesterday in church - we scold and nag because we STILL bother and still catch a glimpse of hope in our people. (this applies too, btw, to my students!) many of us are where we are today because of someone, long ago, who nv gave up hope on us and believed that we had e potential to rise up to a higher level. It's really a self-perpetuating thing I feel - once u come to a certain level of awareness and maturity u will want to serve God more and more, but e key is getting TO that level in the first place - my job to bring more pp to such a level! Yuppz, must learn to spend more time w my pp and nv give up on them.. tho I have a tough time sometimes, with some of e pp that I cannot realli connect to, God has placed us in each others' lives for a purpose, and I want my pp to go away when e time comes to move on with a difference in their lives. Will they look back and say "my (1/2/3…) years in (usher ministry / cell group / hwa chong) was a waste of time, I nv learnt anything", or will it be "yeah, someone made a difference in my life in that place, and I have come away a better person for it"? I realli sincerely hope that it will be the second one.. Lord, use me to make a difference. Truly pp do not care how much u knoe until they know how much u care.. so help me to be a more caring person, and not give up hope on anyone as long as there is the faintest glimmer / spark that all is not lost. It is truly the saddest thing in the world to give up hope on a person.. remember Hebrews 11:1 - faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen. Yuppz, so even tho we might not be able to SEE results in the here and now, with discipleship / teaching etc, have faith! Let me continue, and have even greater faith, hope and love for my pp. Amen.

Saturday, September 18, 2004

25 came and gone..

my 25th birthday is come and gone (yesterday, september 17th). Thanks to all who made my day special.. my section, my CG, my parents, and the Bio people, as well as 70, 78 and 7B! haha.. all of you have very similar ways of making my day unique - within 24 hours, i had three separate chocolate cakes (I accept cheesecakes too btw, ahem ahem!) , four sets of accessories (can open jewellery shop liaoz.. hee..) and one very nice book (thanks iYi!) and yes, i AM happy!

i guess the 'special-ness' of each birthday decreases with each passing year.. it becomes just more and more like any other day of the year. birthday wishes become more of a surprise than an 'expected' thing.. probably the fact that work goes on even though it's my birthday and ushering goes on too jus kind of shows me how blase2 i've become about this day. life just goes on! =P

digress: it happened to be our prac paper yesterday, so we were all in school from about 6 or so trying to get our materials ready.. suddenly there was a blackout, imagine trying to prepare stuff at 6 something am with no lights! ergh! Thank God for the emergency generator that left us one miserable light per lab, but even that ran out after a while. this being the last prelim prac, think it's not going to go out without a bang.. other things happened too e day before but i can't say them here.. ahaha.. anyway, we managed to get the electricity back on soon enough and the prac continued.

what's the point of this digression in the middle of my birthday post? well, it happened that i was resting in the prep room in the afternoon.. head on table, when mrs foo suddenly asked me to get up cos there was another power failure! i saw the room was dark behind her, and oh gosh i got such a huge shock.. jumped up off my chair.. then i suddenly realised that there was a CAKE behind and they had offed the lights to sing my birthday song! ahahahaha.. dio bluff until good good.. btw i told mrs foo that i was so convinced the joke was real cos i couldn't see anything beyond her.. SHE BLOCKED OUT THE ENTIRE CAKE and ALL THE OTHER PEOPLE BEHIND! ahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! moral of the story: i believe what i see.. ahahaha..

yes, anyway. thanks also to 70 and 7b, who sang me birthday songs in the holding room, and 78 who spent *goodness knows* HOW many messages msging me "H", "A", "P", "P", "Y".. one by one.. and a final interpretation msg that they were actually trying to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY MISS WANG or something! ahahahaha.. the vibrations of my phone were driving all the bio teachers mad! =P acting cute right u all!

went to church after prac, and had a minor debacle over duties again.. apparently i was supposed to be traffic understudy, but i seriously dun remember that i saw that on sept schedule. *sigh* anyway i had no idea, and wasn't able to rush down in time. sigh, am i always that blur about such stuff? try harder ahming to REMEMBER such kinds of things!

after svc, ate w ahlong ahyi ahfruit ahdrian and feliyeow. seldom got chance to fellowship w adrian but i think last night was simply too tired to say more than three sensible words.. sorry bro another time hor.. =P



Another digression: email from a fellow teacher -
Dear highly-paid, poorly-lived fellow slaves,
How wuz your hols? If you cudn't catch a Hollywood movie these Hollydays, no fear. Your are all part of the cast in a local MOEvie maker.
1. All of us star in the Bond Supremacy (scholars will have a longer act).
2. We're all the slaves in the MOEvie, Prince of Egypt, in which MOEses delivers his people from MOE: Ministry of Egypt.
3. Best of all, i'm looking forward to the Last Days (Arnie Schwarzngr fell on a sword, died, Satan left him and all is well). How will it end? No one knows. Ah, maybe the plot will be this: Minister's kid who's a P gets possessed by SATAN (Sharman And Tharmugaratnam And Novices), falls on sword, dies...&...???)

Newsteach you weren't taught:
Aug 25: 3 months maternity leave (sounds so attractive even I'd like to get pregnant, leave kid with maid and sail away to Mediterranean 3 mths).
Last week: MOE wants to recruit more males. In the aim to be a family Nation, let's hope there'll be no Discrimi Nation.

First to SPA, then to school...next the grave?
Your fellow sufferer in chains (and pains)
p.s. did you know one of my teachers' health has failed so badly eversince SPA came in? Anyway, what's new. Towards long life (in heaven!).


You never fail to entertain, friend! =)



Thursday, September 16, 2004

september 15th..

haha.. what happens when i have NO IDEA what to title my blog is that the date gets typed in as the title.. ahahaha.. how lame am i! it's now the 16th of sept anyway, and i realise i forgot to wish my cousin KELLY a happy birthday yesterday! erpz! for some reason yesterday i thought it was the 14th only.. erpz erpz.. yes Kel, you're 24.. haha.. may you continue to kuai4 gao1 zhang3 da4 and kuai4 dian3 zeng1 fei2.. those of you who knoe kel will knoe why.. ahahaha.. i am like double her size lah. =P
happenings in the last few days.. have been fairly happening days cos i am trying my darndest to have lots of fun before i get shackled in by the loads and mountains of prelim marking that are going to land on me soon! eeks! every few months the marking comes, haha i have SUCH a cyclical and predictable lifestyle.. ahahaha.. lets' see, a quick review:

Monday - met Chris Wong for dinner.. haha.. i know so many Chris-es.. kaijiun i must say u have grown into quite a charmer, hey hey! must socialize more.. anyway, long story of how i got to know chris wong - thru habitat for humanity, the pp i went to mongolia with this june. he nv go to mongolia but i met him when we attended habitat's under no roof event after coming back. chris is v similar to me.. haha.. white, height, shortsighted, good grief we even have the same weight (more or less).. ahahaha.. compliment to him but it tells me i need to BECOME SKINNIER, urgh! both scions of the R educational institutions, and both geppers.. hahaha.. but kaijiun is WAY smarter and WAY more hardworking. anyone interested?? i can intro.. hee..

Tuesday - Sentosa'ed and KTV'ed with cg pp. For more info, i'm sure egomango http://www.fruitstall.com , iYi http://www.hermionejas-thoughts.blogspot.com, and xiaolongbao http://www.elliott_catch22.blogspot.com have written in more or less exhaustive detail, so i shall not go into this further, except to say:

RACHE AND CHRIS HAVE VERY NICE VOICES!!!!!!!!!!

*impressed*

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

i have updated my template!!!!!!!!!!! is it gorgeous or IS IT GORGEOUS???? mwahahahahaha..

Monday, September 13, 2004

- after my absence -

have not blogged for days i think - except for some hurried, dashed bits here and there. expression takes time and i haven't had time to mull over my thoughts in front on the comp during the hols, unlike in school where i basically stare at comp all day. it's the holidays after all, and i've been spending my time kai-kai-ing (ie shopping, yes..) and tuitioning.. erpz.. and all the Grand and Noble Ambitions I had for the holidays are now dashed. I list them below:

1. Levelling the Mountains
Sounds so 'wu3 xia2 xiao3 shuo1' dun it.. like some weird gongfu stroke.. Yes, the mountains of papers, books, bills and other rubbish that are stacked around my room. The topography of my beautiful purple room looks something like the Alps by now. Perhaps I should take a picture one morning.. mountains against a purple backdrop (my wall).. haha.. and submit to webshots??

2. Changing interFaces
the interFace of my blog .. i wanted to learn html and create myself a new blogskin from scratch.. AHAHAHAHA... i am so ambitious am i not? somemore i wanted to learn Photoshop to tweak my fugly pics.. Right, who am i kidding.. the computer illiterate child who cannot so much as get her printer to install properly, and who can *amazingly* reformat her entire hard disk by accident. Sometimes i just DON'T KNOW where i get my amazing talent for screwing this sort of stuff up! Hah!
By the way, I AM intending to change my template, so if my blog looks off-colour for a while, bear with it! =)

3. Being Nice
yepz, i intended to do all sorts of Nice Person Trademark actions this week, like making friendship bands for certain pp (xz knows.. ), baking cookies for others, etc etc etc and whatever else it is that nice people do. But I ended up, as usual of course, without any of these things done. oops!


Yet, what have I managed to accomplish this week? Heeeeeeeeeeeere goes..

1. I have gone SHOPPING! - yes, i know i should spend less, but i always end up walking around and not buying anything.. somehow the day spent doing unrelated-to-work stuff is just relaxing.

2. I READ lots - Winter's Heart in the Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordan (i am 4 years behind in the series but nevermind.. i eagerly await book 10.. that was a particularly enjoyable read cos i jus slacked at Coffee Bean reading and sipping stuff while the eddies of humanity swirled past.. haha.. felt so tai-tai-ish!).. The Heavenly Man by Brother Yun (courtesy of Zhengliang.. i am still in the midst of reading but its an amazing book.. will blog more about it in another post).. Many backdated Readers' Digests that my mother picks up from flea markets at her church.. The "Shens" of the Bible (ie. Gala-Shens, Ephe-Shens, Corin-shens.. you get the idea.. yes?).. diversion: again, I am reminded to 1. walk in a manner worthy of my calling.. 2. to ask for more of God's burden in my life - more about this in another post.. =)

3. I went out with my mother and father! - Mum's birthday was on saturday, so we went for high tea at Raffles Hotel on Friday.. the western confections are very nice, the asian so-so.. but more importantly, made a point to make them feel that i had all e time in e world to pei2 ta1 men2.. which was not *quite* accurate, for once we reached home i was off like a jet to church for door usher.. but i think it pleased my parents quite a bit. *yay!*

4. I gave myself a FRENCH MANICURE! - have yet to perfect the technique, smudged 2 nails and the right hand's a bit wobbly.. who ask me to be so dominantly hemidextrous and non-sinistral.. yikes, my left hand's almost good for nothing with this kind of delicate work.. but i am quite pleased with the overall result. of course, the whole thing's chipped all over after TEN hours of oscar (friday, saturday and sunday) but yes, i am well pleased. =)

5. I did NOT do a tad of work! - yes, i did not do a jot of any marking, remedialing, table-tidying, attendance-recording, admin work and etc etc etc stuff. erpz, but i WILL catch up. Soon. =) Which reminds me, i should start going about it soon. =)

Saturday, September 11, 2004

desire and dissatisfaction

desire - dissatisfaction. sound contradictory? but they are to be applied to opposite things.. to desire more of God through prayer - and to be dissatisfied with e things that have been acheived, ie. to continually move on with God. these are the essence of what we should be seeking for in prayer..

Lord, i want more of You in my life - let Your heartbeat be my heart's cry.. may I live to serve Your call.. more important than doing things and working hard - as i have always tried so hard to do - is to know God's purpose and live that out! to have the burden of the Holy Spirit the foremost purpose in all that I do - I need that so badly! I do not want to live a dry life and at the end of the day realise that I have laid down what is important for what is merely urgent. I want the burden of the Holy Spirit to be so real in my life - let me be compelled to do Your will, Lord, not because You are a fierce and force-people-to-do-things God but because of my relationship with You and the awareness that this relationship brings of Your love for people.

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

daffynitions

edited from mikey's funnies http://www.mikeysfunnies.com

  • Allege: A rocky platform on a mountain
  • Arbitrator: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's
  • Arson: Our daughter's brother
  • Avoidable: What a bullfighter tries to do
  • Backward: Patient rooms at the rear of a hospital
  • Bassinet: What every fisherman wants
  • Belong: To take your time
  • Burglarize: What a crook sees with
  • Carpet: A dog that enjoys riding in an automobile
  • Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage
  • Condescend: A prisoner escaping down the wall using a rope
  • Counterfeiters: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets
  • Deduce: De lowest card in de deck
  • Dogma: A mother dog
  • Eclipse: What a gardener does to your hedge
  • Falsehood: Someone who pretends to be a gangster
  • Geometry: What the acorn said when it grew up
  • Handicap: A ready-to-use hat
  • Heroes: What a guy in a boat does

Monday, September 06, 2004

i shopped! =) and the reasons behind it..

heyhey.. i shopped! got myself a skirt and a dress from ztamp@fareastplaza.. great shop on level 3 that ivory and juan are also addicted to... :D yay..

reasons for shopping: 1. i drove 2. armorbearers mtg ended early..

yuppz, had AB mtg today, with some guests (mingfeng n ivory from section 5). 80 spoke to us about some topics.. of course recruitment, of course raising up new leaders, it is always a burden for 80.. but also he emphasized a lot on dependability. dependable = to be fully committed and know your calling, and be willing to do all it takes to fulfil that calling.


it kind of causes me to wonder in myself: am i a dependable person? yes, i try to avail myself as much as i can, but even more than e physical availability, is the spiritual burden for my ministry.. standing together with e vision of Pst Kong n e church, and making sure e pp in my sphere of influence learn e same.. do i still have that fire within me to make my ministry, my service, my section and my ushers better? like chocks said, i avail myself alot.. A LOT.. i think out of 12 weekend days in a month, i am prob on duty for at least 10 of them.. verifiers, logis, duty, greeters, communions, oscaring, door ushers, understudy of various things etc. yet try as hard as i might, nothing will work if i try by my own strength and merely work hard. so martha, ahming! argh! jian2 tao3 ba, i need to bear the purpose and focus of my work in UM in mind. not for promotion; it is not the be-all end-all of things.. but i want to regain that burden for section and ushers that i once had. i really am doing NOTHING in section now except taking care of my own team.. how to armorbearer my leaders liddat?? God, impress upon my heart the urgency of training up new leaders, of discipling those pp i already have, of bearing a burden for my service and section. ahming, fast and pray!!!!!!!

had a good chance to speak to mingfeng and miss i.. i really hope that time of talking has made a difference.. even though i am the ultimate 'naggy' person.. ahahaha.. i really hope to see them rise up soon.

Saturday, September 04, 2004

poetry i love - part the second

John Masefield - Sea Fever

I must go down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky,
And all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by;
And the wheel's kick and the wind's song and the white sail's shaking;
And a grey mist on the sea's face, and a grey dawn breaking.

I must go down to the seas again, for the call of the running tide
Is a wild call and a clear call that may not be denied;
And all I ask is a windy day with the white clouds flying,
And the flung spray and the blown spume, and the seagulls crying.

I must go down to the seas again, to the vagrant gypsy life,
To the gull's way and the whale's way where the wind's like a whetted knife;
And all I ask is a merry yarn from a laughing fellow-rover,
And a quiet sleep and a sweet dream when the long trick's over.


Not that I really love the sea so much, but his expression of language makes me almost taste the salt tang on my lips! it kind of makes me think of kayaking in VNR long ago.. =)

Friday, September 03, 2004

Tuesday's Thoughts! (though i post this on Friday!)

From http://galvin.worshipsingapore.com

Comments: Tuesdays' Thoughts


1. The very first bible verse that comes to mind. Any significance to it?

isa 40:31 - but those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.significance - in plain text in the verse! when tired, as i am everyday, wait on the Lord to renew my strength.


2. The song that's been playing in your head most frequently this week.

dunnoe e title, nor e artiste (that;s why me can nv make it in choir! ahahaha), but we have been singing it in church..Whom have I in heaven but You / there is nothing on earth I desire besides You / my heart and my strength / many times they fail / but there is one truth / that always will prevail / God is the strength of my heart (x3) / God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever / forever


3. A thanksgiving over the past week till this very moment.

an appreciation of how precious my ministry (usher ministry, CHC) really is.. and my CG.. and my leaders..


4. A person whom you want to encourage and the encouragement.

Chris (corgitoergosumtheone - u linked him too!)to continue to make a stand for Jesus in your workplace, and become a light that shines ever brighter each day. cultivate the 9th fruit of the Spirit in your life.. not going to be easy bro, ask Him for strength while u do so!


5. One thing you are looking forward to in the coming week.

THE HOLIDAYS!!!! 'nuff said.


Thursday, September 02, 2004

ahming's fate on teachers day..

Teachers' day.. celebrated keqing's birthday today. Yay! Spent the 2 hours before I met her feverishly walking around Taka to look for gifts.. again, the problem I have every year comes back to haunt me.. what do you give the girl who has everything? Of course, I try to share God's love with her, but she is a serious U5 / U5.5! hahaa.. maybe I should buy her more things from U2 and hope she progresses there.. haha.. ji3 lame! Anyway, that's what friends are for, no? not that I buy things for her la, she can buy more than enough for herself.. keqing had a seriously scary shopping spree just now, I think she's too repressed already eh. We went into Robinsons' and she got shoes and I think 4 pieces of clothes.. zhen1 de4 shi4 yi1 kou3 qi4 mai3 le4 hen2 duo1 dong1 xi1! After that, met tiffany and juncong for dinner.. our good juncong attempted to set me up with his best man, lionel.. ahahaha.. so funny! I don't think there's any interest on either side leh, then JC still trying so hard. Seriously lah, I dun think I would go out *romantically* with any guy other than from church and of a certain maturity in Christ - not cos I'm elitist or what but I don't think the guy would be able to 'tahan' my commitments in church otherwise! Divergent vision = separated and xin1 suan1 couple. Trust me, I tried before.. erpz.. Lionel is an okay person but not a Christian (I think) and seems to me quite 'nuah' leh. Ahahahaha.. erpz, tiffany dun tell JC okie?


For the same reason I wriggled myself out of mingguang's invi to go to a BAR, of all places, on Friday night. Yikes! The DESpo (hey mebbe that's y he's DESmond..)! Can he not get the hint that I AM NOT INTERESTED AT ALL???? Or is any single female floating in his vicinity a target? *sigh*.. tiffany and keqing you MUST NEVER TELL desmond about this k.. he will so kill me.. ahahaha..


the defining word of my life

the defining word of my life is: tired

my bones are weary with the sun
though i am yet young. would i
have held a different life though?

i don't think so. it is a privilege i feel
to carry my cross
and serve all i can.

but sometimes, just sometimes
i wish i could put everything down
slack in a corner for a while

return to being a child.

yet i know it cannot be
the world will never wait for me
and so i shoulder my cross anew
and wait on God to see me through.

Isaiah 40:31 - "But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint."