Tuesday, May 31, 2005

NIE AGAIN

Back to NIE for the first time in a long while. For the siannest course I've attended in a long while. To the extent that I am blogging WHILE on course (all my students dun rat on me yar). Sheesh. I should find some way to skip the next few days. Drat! At least they have good, stable and fast internet access. Heh.

Oh well. Back to the age of $2 freaking-good bak chor mee, long long neverending corridors, hot hot concrete-jungle feeling and the interminable climb up from the bus stop. Sheesh. I'll go to Hall 14 and eat Jap rice tomorrow! teehee.. I feel my mood improving already.

Monday, May 30, 2005

sand_and_foam

Hello hello!
I'm in a freakily-holiday-y mood and am wasting my time skinning again. Heh.

In case you wanted to try, you can find my newest skin, sand_and_foam, at blogskins. Picture from pictin and quote from Kahlil Gibran.

My older skins are submitted under my ID joyinthelord, so you can go have a look too.

Yayness!

Saturday, May 28, 2005

OOPS, I DID IT AGAIN

Return of the Purple Hair!
Mwahahahahahahahahahaha.

I did my hair purple, at 230 am in the morning! Mad right?? Wahahahahahahaha! But I love my hair! I love my hair! I love my hair! yayieeeeeeeee...

Pictures of the process!

Started off with a nice tame white cream and clear solution. But when mixed together and applied on hair, the result is this! UGH!


Goodness, so scary my hair ah. Like vampire climb out of TV screen like that. LOL.

SUPER PURPLE RIGHT THE CREAM!
Courtesy of my fantastic mummy who 'pua'ed my hair like nobody's business. I think she was very 'kek' when she pua my hair. Cos the purple stuff spilled onto the wall, the shower, the floor, the floormat.. her hand, her clothes, my leg, my clothes.. Should have done the pua-ing in my room, which is purple anyway. Heh.

Time to see what I'm going to look like after the dye's washed off!

SO EXCITING!

So, blow blow blow blow.
Blow blow blow blow.

And... tah dah!

Under whitish light, it looks rather more red.


I like my purple hair!

Thursday, May 26, 2005

OBJECT DOCK ROCKS MY SOCKS!

I'm addicted to configuring, skinning and souping up my desktop.

And for my fellow addicts, get ObjectDock! It's GORGEOUS!

Heh. What do you expect from someone who skins her Firefox, Thunderbird, WMP and changes blogskins every few months?
It's narcissism too, just a different kind. Heh. And yes, I skinned my ObjectDock too. lol.

Other make-life-easier-if-not-as-gorgeous-looking free downloads:
FeedReader
Post-it Notes Lite
Mozilla Firefox
Mozilla Thunderbird
Screen Print
The GIMP
IrfanView
Metapad

Have a nice day while I admire my ObjectDock. =)

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

ONE FREAKING SMART POODLE.

A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful, aged poodle named
Cuddles along for the company. One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long
Cuddles discovers that she's lost. Wandering about, she notices a leopard heading rapidly in her
direction with the intention of having lunch. The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in trouble now!"

Noticing some bones on the ground close by, she immediately settles down to chew on the bones
with her back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the old poodle exclaims
loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?"

Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and
he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!" says the leopard, "That was close! That old poodle nearly
had me!"

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can
put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the
old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must
be up.

The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with
the leopard. The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on
my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!"

The old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going
to do now?", but instead of running, the dog sits down with her back to her attackers, pretending
she hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says:
"Where's that monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"

OH THE THINKS YOU CAN THINK UP IF ONLY YOU TRY!

Had plenty of food for thought over the last few days.
Had plenty of food for the body too, but let's not go into that.. hehe.

I heard an inspiring sentence on Monday morning:
"The food was wonderful, but your service made it special."

Wow. If only every time I and my ushers served, we could have that impact on the people; I'm not looking for words of gratification from them, but I really wish that this could be the impression we give to the people of His house. Imagine.

"The preaching was wonderful, but your service made it special."
"Taking communion was wonderful, but your service made it special."
"The bus service was wonderful, but your service made it special."

Imagine how we could make a difference in peoples' hearts and lives if we could serve to this extent.

I learnt a new way of thought on Sunday afternoon and Monday night:
I can learn to be a more active and a better armorbearer for my leaders.
Armorbearers do not wait to be given tasks; they look around to see how they can do more and how they can improve. What am I doing now? Is there any way I can make it better?
Even more that that, the best followers WILL ask themselves: How can I help to improve my leader? How can I change so that my leader becomes the best leader that he or she can be? Is there anything I can do to save my leader an hour, because if by doing my work well I can free up an hour of my leader's time, I am allowing him or her to use that hour in a more impactful way.

I was reminded of something I should always cling on to on Monday night and Tuesday night:
In all things, remember humility and love.

Plenty of things to think about. Plenty of ways to improve myself. Plenty of times I need to remember to be more loving. Let me jiayou..

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

THE VFH CHRONICLES: PART THE SECOND

Alright, so the VFH's comfortably settled at home, on a high table away from the VCD. VCD's highly jealous, by the way, and snuffles excitedly whenever I walk near the VFH. As if he thinks I might drop him a nice tasty morsel to eat. Hurrumph.

Our good VFH has been fairly quiet, after a period of high activity when first installed on her high table. The only other time she went mad was when I tried to catch and clean her (and her cage). And cleverly, that was the time I tried to take photos, so I ended up with a series of blur shots of fur. Hm. *bright and brilliant smile* I will try to take shots when she is not so active next time, so I'll end up with a series of balled shots of fur.

The first Hamster Catching was a real experience. Having determined that Welly needed to be removed so I could clean her cage, I decided to keep her in a little plastic container for the time being. Catching her was trying tho, because I'm used to the much larger (and slower!) Scampy aka VCD. Thanks to all who gave suggestions of catching her with a fishing net, tricking her into the box, enticing her with food and goodness knows what else. Lol. In the little plastic container, our Welly looked thoroughly frantic (perhaps due to her now-unobstructed view of Scampy eagerly licking his chops below). Thank goodness the cleaning was done fairly fast and she got back into her protected cage. =)

Stay tuned for the next episode of the VFH chronicles; I'll try to get some shots of the hamster. =)

so lame, we came to share our fame. =)

If lawyers are debarred
and clergymen defrocked,

doesn't it follow that. . .

electricians could be delighted,
musicians denoted,
cowboys deranged,
models deposed,
and dry cleaners depressed?

Wouldn't you expect laundry workers to decrease, eventually becoming
depressed and depleted?

Likewise, bedmakers might be debunked,
baseball players debased,
bulldozer operators degraded,
organ donors delivered,
software engineers detested, and
underwear manufacturers debriefed.

And won't all composers one day decompose?

On a more positive note, perhaps we can hope politicians will someday
be devoted.


*heh. Perhaps I could also tell my dog to undergo debugging, and tell myself I'm declining every time i walk down the slope. And wouldn't divorces be an instance of decoupling? Corpses would be decrypted; tennis players deduced, make up artists defaced and all accomplishments defeated. Your kidneys would be defenestrated (I didn't make that up!), your garden defenseless, and your paprers defiled. I would need to defray my clothing, allow my children to undergo degeneration, and tell all citizens of the free world that they would one day be deliberated upon. And oh yes. Are not electricians delighted then? What a wonderful profession!

Monday, May 23, 2005

NO LONGER I WHO LIVE

.. but Christ who lives in me.

Everything in recent days has been pointing me towards being less lazy, and being more proactive. And I realise that in my own fleshly nature, I am more my father's daughter than anything else: being content to remain at status quo, to not-rock-the-boat and follow established norms rather than seek to raise the bar.

And to go beyond this, I need to crucify my flesh and confess it everyday: No longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. This life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave his life for me.

Was reminded in CG today that we need to move out of our comfort zones. And yes, I have asked myself if I AM in my comfort zone. Answer: Yes, I think I am. Do I do the things given to me? Yes, I do; not always well, but in general I think I do. Are they physically taxing? Yes, I think they are. But why do I consider myself still in my comfort zone? It is because I am content to leave things as they are, and not apply my mind to improvement of the areas in which I am given charge. No wonder Ry says I have no breakthrough in UM; he's right, in his fashion. I will not have a breakthrough anywhere unless I exert myself to not only maintain the status quo, but to improve upon it.

Help me, Lord, to overcome my natural limitations. To overcome the desires of my fleshly body and worldly mind to slip back into apathy and indifference, believing that to follow alone is enough. May I lay down my all to follow You; may I step forward into my destiny.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

I.HAVE.A.HAMSTER. OH.MY.GOSH.

Goodness!

my 31st WELCO gave me a hamster as their stepping-down present!

My very first hamster!
This hamster has been the cause of much excitement in the Science region of the staffroom. We've collectively discovered that it's a SHE (courtesy of Koon Loon's observation that no round posterior structures are present), she squeals when irritated, and she likes to tear paper (which lived, in a past life, as a Differential Equations tutorial). And I've decided to name her Welly, in honour of the WELCO who gave her to me.

However, I have a problem.

Imagined scenario #1:
Hello, my Very First Hamster. Meet my Very Cranky Dog!
VCD promptly gobbles up VFH.

Imagined scenario #2:
Hello, my Very First Hamster. Meet my Very Cranky Dog!
VCD eyes VFH with distrust.
VCD gobbles up VFH.

Imagined scenario #3:
Hello, my Very First Hamster. Meet my Very Cranky Dog!
Ming takes great care to place VFH on a high shelf away from the reach of VCD.
Over the course of days, VCD figures out how to knock down VFH from high shelf.
VCD gobbles up VFH.

Imagined scenario #4:
Hello, my Very First Hamster. Meet my Very Cranky Dog!
Ming takes great care to place VFH in a nice secure cage, which WELCO has kindly provided as well, on a high shelf away from the reach of VCD.
Over the course of days, VCD figures out how to knock down VFH's nice secure cage from high shelf.
He also figures out how to pry open the cage bars.
VCD gobbles up VFH.

Help! How?

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

THE WORLD IS CHARGED WITH THE GRANDEUR OF GOD: GERARD MANLEY HOPKINS

Gerard Manley Hopkins, a poet like no other.

His use of sprung rhythm gives his simplest verse a lyric beauty to which none other can compare; the alliteration and words tripping off your tongue when you enunciate evoke the langour of the English countryside. Ad astra, per aspera; through his works, God's hand is clearly seen and glorified. Hopkins' poems point us to God; to wonder at the existential essence of creation and dares us to deny the existence of our Maker.

Romans 1:20-21: "For since the beginning of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood that the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse, because, although they knew God, they did not glorify Him as God, nor were thankful, but became futile in their thoughts, and their foolish hearts were darkened."

Futility of thought was never a fault of Gerard Manley Hopkins.
And neither, I hope, of mine.
May I remember to see His hand in the created works around me every day.

And may I neither always strive and seek for physical perfection in myself and others, but rather "God's better beauty, grace".

Thursday, May 12, 2005

THE WEDDING ROCKS

Not in reference to my dear Keqing's ring. =P

But the ROM rocked! hehe~

Blur ole me went to the wrong place, and waited like an idiot at Parc OASIS when the ceremony was at Parc VISTA. Oh, well done. =( But that at least saved me from the company of my strange 71 friends: desmosome and Joe-sephine. hehe. Many things have changed, yet many more remain the same; it certainly doesn't look like the two of them are much different.

And the ricepaperangel was late! Hurrumph! She kenna'ed lots of calls from me - along the lines of 'come quickly it's about to start' and 'come quickly and rescue me' and 'JUST HURRY UP AND GET YOURSELF HERE'. Sheesh. Late woman.

It was sweet to see the two old soft toys (bear and pig) dragged out, laundered and given place of honour on the table. And the 100 balloons that filled the room, and Keqing's pretty bouquet (that she totally forgot during the ceremony, ROFL). And no, no photos, because I forgot to bring my digicam. Wail. But Peter and Keqing can be unbearably sweet at times.. eekk.. *i feel myself squishing in the mush already* The day after, he spirited her off to some hotel room and romanced her for the entire day. awwwwwwwww. He even proposed. hehe, yes, a BIT late, but hey, at least he made up for it!

As an aside, it's the first time I've seen Peter's brother. You can tell they are brothers at a glance: the same pudgy pasty face and long hair left floppy with a centre parting. Heh. The difference is that Peter gels his hair into a M-shaped thing (I've always been of the opinion that it's to look taller than Keqing. Heh~) whereas his brother's is left down and floppy. Erps. Peter's always reminded me of Mickey Mouse with his hairdo. Now his brother reminds me of a mushroom. Oh dear. the M&M brothers!

Angel's baby's growing very big and will arrive on 20th of June. Heh. She gets to choose the date because she's too small to deliver her huge son vaginally. So Caesarean. heh. He's huge! The doc says he might weigh up to 4kg by the time she's reached term. Goodness! lol~ Bryan is SURELY JC's son. Even the nurse asked her if her husband was very large. wahahahahaha.

*I actually intended to post a picture of my angel and her hubbie for size comparison. ~winks~ But I think it's quite mean, and anyway I'm too lazy to search for the pic. Heh!*

So, yes. I eagerly await pictures from Keqing. Then you'll get the photo-whoring treat, my dear blogders! till then, tralala!

THE INEVITABLE WHATIF.

Today is the day you move on into a new phase of your life.

Did I mention how lonely it feels now?



Happy wedding, Keqing.

NEWSFLASH!

Ooooooooooh My Goodness!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My pictures have appeared on Tom's site, Pictin Photography.

*giggles and squeals in an irritating manner*

Go Look! =)

THE ETHICS OF ABORTION

A controversial topic, to put it mildly.

But one, it seems, I have to tackle for my next series of lectures on Human Intervention in Reproduction. And yes, it includes human cloning too; let's not even go there for the moment.

Depressing, it has been, to read stories of abortion attempts, the heartache of those who have performed the procedure, and the gory details of details of the abortion procedure. Worse still, to stare at pictures so graphic that I can only view the majority of them at home, courtesy of MOE's site blocker.

But what is the end result?
I don't like the labels pro-choice and pro-life, because they imply mutual exclusivity. As in, if you are pro-life, you are against choice and vice versa. Untrue! A person who is pro-life HAS made a choice; that choice is to allow her child to live.

The choice, by the way, is the province of the female; the father of the child has no legal right to prevent an abortion.

Central to the debate are the issues of when does life begin? When is the fetus considered a living being, an individual person and not just a mass of tissue? What about the principle of ensoulment? At what gestational age, if at all, should it be considered to have rights? Should the rights of the fetus to live override the rights of the woman to control over her own life? Who are we to decide, on behalf of the unborn, whether he or she would WANT to come into this world?

These are not easy questions, and they do not have easy answers. I, as a biologist, am hesistant to allow science to define my morality. Is it only because medical technology can help a 24 week old fetus to live ectogenically that we consider that fetus a human and anything before not?

I can only say this: I cannot consider abortion acceptable. Two wrongs do not make a right; even if the child was conceived as a result of rape or incest, it cannot, cannot, cannot be made right by the killing of the fetus. Each individual is unique, special loved and has an indwelling purpose supplied by God; who are we to prematurely snuff out their destinies? Remember the words of God to Jeremiah, when he felt inadequate to carry the Word of God:
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; Before you were born I sanctified you; I ordained you a prophet to the nations." - Jeremiah 1:5

Let the unchanging Word of God be my basis, in this as in all others. Amen.


Something to think about: A Prayer Before Birth, Louis MacNiece.
I am not yet born; O hear me.
Let not the bloodsucking bat or the rat or the stoat or the
club-footed ghoul come near me.

I am not yet born, console me.
I fear that the human race may with tall walls wall me,
with strong drugs dope me, with wise lies lure me,
on black racks rack me, in blood-baths roll me.

I am not yet born; provide me
With water to dandle me, grass to grow for me, trees to talk
to me, sky to sing to me, birds and a white light
in the back of my mind to guide me.

I am not yet born; forgive me
For the sins that in me the world shall commit, my words
when they speak me, my thoughts when they think me,
my treason engendered by traitors beyond me,
my life when they murder by means of my
hands, my death when they live me.

I am not yet born; rehearse me
In the parts I must play and the cues I must take when
old men lecture me, bureaucrats hector me, mountains
frown at me, lovers laugh at me, the white
waves call me to folly and the desert calls
me to doom and the beggar refuses
my gift and my children curse me.

I am not yet born; O hear me,
Let not the man who is beast or who thinks he is God
come near me.

I am not yet born; O fill me
With strength against those who would freeze my
humanity, would dragoon me into a lethal automaton,
would make me a cog in a machine, a thing with
one face, a thing, and against all those
who would dissipate my entirety, would
blow me like thistledown hither and
thither or hither and thither
like water held in the
hands would spill me.

Let them not make me a stone and let them not spill me.
Otherwise kill me.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

*giggle giggle teehee

Lookie all!

Cute spoofs of LOTR:







yes, i'm adding LOTR to my list-of-must-reads this year. behind ROTK. heh.

more power to my eyes. =D

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN ROCKS MY SOCKS!






Seldom have I emerged from a movie admiring the characters portrayed. But whoohoo, one man CAN make a difference - Balian of Ibelin rocks my socks! And so does Baldwin IV, the leprous king. It's based on a true story, by the way.. with lots of modifications of course. Men of character, unbending in the face of adversity.


And no, not because Orlando Bloom is handsome. Heh. He looked better blonde.

To all those who haven't seen the show: DO, DO, DO!
See trailers and screenshots here.

Notable quotes:
What man is a man who does not make the world better?


You are not what you were born, but what you have it in yourself to be.


Be without fear in the face of your enemies.
Be brave and upright; speak the truth; safeguard the helpless.
That is your oath.


Jerusalem is a Kingdom of conscience, or not at all.

so BAH to the fella in the cinema who complained that there was no great speech.

Monday, May 09, 2005

KUP-PED FROM AH KEI'S BLOG: A WOMAN OF STRENGTH

A strong woman works out to keep her body in shape.
A woman of strength builds relationships to keep her soul in shape.


A strong woman isn't afraid of anything.
A woman of strength shows courage in the midst of her fear.

A strong woman won't let anyone get the best of her.
A woman of strength gives the best of herself to everyone.

A strong woman makes mistakes and avoids the same in the future.
A woman of strength realizes life's mistakes can also be unexpected blessings.

A strong woman wears the look of confidence on her face.
A woman of strength wears grace.

A strong woman has faith that she is strong enough for the journey.
A woman of strength has faith that it is in the journey that she will become strong.

DO LAH! DO LAH! DO SOME MORE!

Contrary to popular belief, I do possess a thin heart together with a thick skin.

So yes, I can take a hint as well as anyone.

Silence conveys just as loud a message as a great shout.

Argh.....

When will I learn not to be a stupid moth that keeps on flying into the fire, and stop getting myself ignored, snubbed and misinterpreted? Freak.. Why can't I control my own emotions as well as I should be able to? Goodness, I should know better than to be swayed by emotion over logic. Yet everytime, I make my choice based on my heart and not my head.

I should learn from Monique and make the hard but right choice.

Forget it la, ahming. Just forget it.

Sunday, May 08, 2005

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

POSITION: (Full-time)
Mother, Mom, Mama

JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be willing to be indispensable.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.


POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.

Friday, May 06, 2005

KEN DUNCAN: HONOUR WHERE HONOUR IS DUE

Photo-y mood me:
To the first photographer who opened my eyes to the beauty of God's creations.
A devoted Christian and humble chronicler of the wonders of nature.
Try especially the Sanctuary.

Samples of his work:




Burra, South Australia




Harmony Brisbane Waters




Lake Tinaroo




Uluru Twilight




Brighton Beach




Natural Arch



As an aside, I simply love the way Australian names throw your tongue into a twist. All together now: Ku-Ring-Gai, Uluru, Kakadu, Millaa Millaa, Bungle Bungles (oh dear, LOL), Katoomba, Kata Tjuta, Purnululu, Mutitjulu, Mullaley.

*breathe. heh.

Thursday, May 05, 2005

SELF-PRAISE! =D








Your SAT Score of 1510 Means:



You Scored Higher Than Howard Stern

You Scored Higher Than George W. Bush

You Scored Higher Than Al Gore

You Scored Higher Than David Duchovny

You Scored Higher Than Natalie Portman

You Scored Lower Than Bill Gates

Your IQ is most likely in the 140-150 range

Equivalent ACT score: 34

Schools that Fit Your SAT Score:

California Institute of Technology

Stanford University

Princeton University

Yale University

Harvard University









Your Birthdate: September 17

Your birth on the 17th day of the month suggests that you are very lucky financially, because this date indicates a solid business sense.

Although you are probably very honest and ethical, this birthday enables you to be shrewd and successful in the world of business and commercial enterprise.

You have excellent organizational, managerial, and administrative capabilities enabling you to handle large projects and significant amounts of money with relative ease.



You are ambitious and highly goal-oriented, although you may be better at starting projects than you are at finishing them.

A sensitivity in your nature, often repressed below the surface of awareness, makes it hard to give or receive affection.


Wednesday, May 04, 2005

BLOGICIDE!

Ugh!
I've discovered a blogicide, and a nasty thing it is.

RIP, bubblemunche my cousin, and ah hock and the fictional gang with you.

May you find some other outlet for your talent.

nuskin!

newskin! i like!
moving away from fanciness to plain text. Yum.

Monday, May 02, 2005

in the spirit of kongee, i wax lyrical..

poetry again.
style inspired by kongee.
Siao Liao, this is really called I-am-slacking-around-on-the-Labour-Day-Holiday.

Last night I dreamt of you:

It was raining in my dream, and I was running after a bus that refused to wait for me.

Somewhere down the road, it stopped and you made a space for me next to you.

The inner seat, and not the outer one, as though you wanted to protect me.

I was surprised, and rightly so, for I had never thought you would so do;

Perhaps it was because of the fat, lecherous unknown who had run with me for the bus and climbed in after me?

But anyway, the open-sided bus wove its way along the forested roads

and the humidity and rain made it cool and lovely.

Rising above a riverside gorge, I remember thinking that only eutrophication could have made the water such a deep green.

We laughed at the people wading their algae-coated way through the river,

and generally had a good time.

Flash.

Same position, you on my left, on a sofa watching the TV.

White sofa in a messy room, facing a wall of cupboards.

For some reason, I put my hand on your knee.

I do not know what made me so bold.

You reciprocated by curling an arm around my shoulders.

I cannot describe that feeling; I cannot put it into words.

I felt like I was home again, after a long and weary walk in the wilderness. Like it was the place I should rightly occupy, to be beloved by you.

Chin on your knee, and you let me channel-surf with the remote.

I was happy with your silence,

and you were comfortable with my dependence.

And then they came in; two,

unknown again, other vague characters of dreamland

The channel was Wikipedia then; I must have confused a computer monitor with the TV.

The two expounded on relationships;

and said we were an example of a Dominant-Loyalist pair or some such

(whatever would that mean?)

It was enough to bring us to self-awareness, and we both sat straight.

Before long, my hand found yours, and you pulled my hand to your lips.

Blushing, I stood and walked out of the room; you followed.

Willing you to ask; for some reason, next to the ironing board.

You would have knelt down and taken out a ring, in idealism,

but then I woke up.

To the realization that it was all just a dream,

And I refused to unclose my eyes and uncurl myself from the bed, for a reluctance to face the reality that such a dream would never be.

I am content to live in the happy fantasy.

有时..

有时,我觉得我是全天下最笨的人。
往往,会把自己的希望寄托在最无疑的人身上,
让他,让我,都觉得无奈的尴尬。

我想,我应该把这希望灭了。
别再让这火焰默默的燃烧下去。
但这又是另一种残酷的忍痛。

神啊,救救我吧。
让我吧我的快乐与梦想建立在您, 而继续一生跟随你。
因为我相信,您有准备最美好的将来给我。
阿门。