OMG this is sibeh funny!

Dear All,

It seems my desperate-ness has reached new heights! See a post that a student wrote for me -

To Miss Wang,

Mr S. Tan is such a good catch. Why not? Let me tell you about the benefits of becoming his girlfriend. :P

1) You will attain a perfect figure of 36-24-36. That is because you would follow him to live on vegetables too!

2) You can rant at him whenever you PMS. He won't scold you back because he's too good tempered.

3) He is a honest person. Really. He confessed to us that he didn't know how to do the electric field question in BT2. We all took comfort in that knowledge.

4) You can force him to give you half of his salary to go shopping! I'm sure he earns a decent amount of money. Plus he doesn't need much to sustain himself.

5) You can show off to your friends you are dating a Hwachong teacher and previously an ASEAN scholar. I'm sure your family and friends will be so impressed by that. Heez...not bad sia?

Love,

*name deleted to protect privacy*

And this is my reply:

Dear *name deleted blablablah*,

MST and me very CMI.

1. If I go anywhere with him it will be like the number 18 (when i am skinny) or the number 10 (when i am fat). These are both not good numbers as i live on the 23rd floor.

2. If I eat vegetables all my life, the cow and chicken farmers in Singapore and Malaysia and some say even Australia will be out of job. That is not good as these farmers deserve a chance at a livelihood too! Support the farmers and eat meat!

3. If some Bad Guy comes running after me (eg. like during the 1980's Hongkong Police movies), he will not be able to shield me from the bullets / knives / rotten eggs that the Bad Guy will throw. Rather I will be the one shielding him because I have a larger surface area.

4. I will think of more lame things to write when i am back from the Staff Meeting. Ugh.

Love,

Miss Wang