Hey, I changed the time on this one to make it appear after the "ten reasons i could live in the US" one! Hey hey, it makes for more coherent reading, lah!
1. NO ONE SPEAKS SINGLISH! Oh man! Proud as I am of my hodgepodge nation and its hodgepodge mishmash of language that is Singlish, I am simply going nuts trying to enunciate perfect English all day long. Give me my LAHs, LORs and ANEHKUANs! Oh my gosh. I can't even MSN or YahooMsg in short forms, i have to take pains (i assure you, PAINS) to "write long". Help! In honour of the above, I will blog in Singlish for the rest of this entry (ok, ok, at least this paragraph please.. *winks*)
Mana ehsai anehkuan eh.. buay sai kong Hokkien, Malay n Chinese sibeh susah la. Hwah I tell u, machiam everybody down there speak english until like so perfect liddat, if i talk like this wah ka le kong, nobody can understan. Chin cham eh! Must every minute also try to watch my angmoh. England non-powderful pp sure CMI. And then hor, i speak got no American accent mah, so pp cannot understand me even my grammar is perfect. Then lagi must repeat again n again. Siao. No wonder everything down there oso so slow. Jia lak liao.. Wah eh angmoh peng you say Singlish like pidgin English liddat. I agree eh. But still sibeh proud of our chapalang everything pun eh sai language. Hey, this is called SYNTHESIS okei, high level of Bloom's Taxonomy eh! Take everything from everywhere, all throw together still can make sense. Singaporeans good eh?
English Translation:
"This is not possible! It's really hard to speak pure English without inserting some words of Hokkien, Malay or Chinese. People are so used to pure English, no-one would understand me if I spoke Singlish. It's terrible. I have to watch my tongue all the time to make sure I don't lapse. Singaporeans whose English is not too good will be in trouble trying to communicate. Also, because I speak without an American accent, most people cannot understand me though my grammar is perfect. So I have to repeat myself again and again. No wonder it takes so much time for me to get things done! Sheesh. My American friend says that Singlish is like pidgin English; I agree, but I'm still really proud of our hodgepodge language. Hey, this is called synthesis; it's a high level in Bloom's Taxonomy - to be able to draw things from different sources and make sense of them. Aren't Singaporeans fantastic?"
2. I will get FAT in no time. Yes, one and half weeks worth of American-sized portions (not that I can ever finish more than half my plate) and American eating style and I can feel the extra tyre round my stomach already. Ugh. And the worst thing is, the food is SO GOOD you don't want to stop!
3. The embrace-all-things philosophy that most Americans have. It's good (see my Ten Reasons Why I Could entry) but it also means that there are plenty of "off" influences around. I wouldn't want my kids to grow up in such a tolerant society that they lose all their personal values and convictions in favour of a love-all, tolerate-all mindset. Because there are some things that are just plain wrong. It's great to be exposed to so many things, when you're mature enough to weigh right and wrong, but not if you're an innocent, impressionable child.
4. The ignorance and condescension of *some* people. You'd be amazed how many "Oh, isn't Singapore in China?" and "You speak very good English!" responses I still draw. Yes, I have no right to demand that the denizens of this great country know where mine is; but hey, since everyone else in the world knows where America is, shouldn't the reciprocal be true? And for the record, MANY countries in the world learn English as a first language - not just mine! And we learn more than one too. Ironically, though I speak English, Chinese, some Cantonese, some Indonesian, some French and some Hokkien, I am laughed at by my family as terribly inept at languages because I don't speak Hainanese (lingua franca for my father's side of the family) and Hakka (ditto my mother's side). Life's unfair! =(
5. No non-dim-sum and non-stir-fry Asian food! I nearly died in happiness in HK today cos I got to eat my fave Cai Xin / choy sum or whatever name you call it by. A caixin by any other name would taste as good. =) Yes! How I miss non-potato, non-carrot, non-onion and non-pepperoni-like vegetables, HK-style porridge, heck even Teochew-style porridge, soyabean curd, sugarcane drink, Portugese egg tarts, Hokkien mee, goreng pisang, ang tao ni, yew char kueh, beef char kway teow, fried rice (nearly typed friend rice, LOL), malay kueh, double-boiled soups, Hainanese chicken rice etc etc etc. I might even get generous in my nostalgia and admit I miss Ke Ai Ji from Coronation (OMG NO, just kidding!). Sigh. Still a born-and-bred rice girl at heart.
6. That everything's so FAR AWAY from everything else! Good on the sweeping vistas, but I wish they could somehow condense into tiny little slices of land when you need to traverse them. I mean, to get from one stall to another in the same mall, my aunt DRIVES across the carpark lah. That's how long the mall is because it's just a series of shops strung out in a line! Like, compress all of them together and stack them up already! As a side note, I am SO glad to see TALL buildings in HK. Yay. That's a sight I sorely missed in Vegas (not so much in SF, but hey, believe me, our tall buildings are MUCH MORE and MUCH TALLER.) Sorry, what Asians don't have in bodily height, they make up for in building-ly height. Hey hey!
7. That everything else (other than the things I mentioned previously in the other post) is expensive, expensive, expensive. Did I mention (all together now:) expensive? I mean, you can't hardly have a decent meal for less than 5 USD. Please! in a Singapore hawker centre, $5 SGD would get you food, a drink and dessert to boot. I must learn to earn more money or learn to never save. Even their public transport is freaking ex! USD 1.25 for a bus ride, USD 3.15 for a train ride (that was only a mid-length journey) and a (get this) USD48 for a taxi ride that lasted like, at most, 30 minutes? Sheesh!
8. Lack of cute, funky handphone covers. I mean it! I am the Princess of Trawling Pasar Malams (aka night markets) to find Funky Handphone Covers. Ask all my friends who've ever seen me near one. Almost everyone comments on my pink HP cover because no-one's ever seen it before.
9. That everything, besides the 24-hour supermarkets, opens freakily late and closes freakily early.
10. That I would be an alien on US soil for ten years and more. My aunt's been there for close to seven years and she and her hubby are still waiting for their green card. Yikes.
No comments:
Post a Comment