2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton
Weight an evangelist carries with God: 1 billigram
Half of a large intestine: 1 semicolon
1000 aches: 1 megahurtz
Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower
Shortest distance between two jokes: A straight line (think about it for a moment)
2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital: 1 I.V. League
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