Monday, March 29, 2010

No pressure, my foot

Don't give me such rubbish la, NO PRESSURE, saying everything is for my own good and up to me to decide, if its really up to me, then why keep on repeating and repeating?? Basically, trying to nag me into submission, all the same as it has always been for the 30 years of my life. Somehow, this belief that if you repeat it enough times, I will eventually cave in.

Yeah, ridiculous boh.
Example: a dozen years after I entered uni, my mum still believes she can change my mind to go back to uni and enter medical school (not because I want to, because SHE wants me to) just by nagging at me every time she gets me alone.

Now, its wanting me to move back to her place. Either just me, or the ENTIRE gang- hubby, 2 kids and maid!!! Not to mention all the barang barang that 2 young kids need, OMG.

If its just me, I'll have to run in triangles around the island everyday - bukit timah to yew tee to upper thomson. On top of doing my own work that I am already completely overwhelmed by.
I shudder to think what the case would be if I moved everyone over.

YES, I know that you are lonely.
YES, I know I am the only child - therefore all the relatives expect me to be the one to handle everything. How many times have I been told to "look after my mother, she is not strong, you have to be"??? Uncountable!!!
YES, I know I am "all that you have" and "the only one can be comfortable with".
YES, I know you are still upset and depressed, you know what, if I move back, you will be EVEN more upset and depressed because you will be telling me tales of Dad every minute of the day. Since I am "the only one who can understand" and who CANNOT ask you to change topic to get out of your maudlin mood!

I am worn out of my mind thinking of solutions and relying on the goodwill of others.. I am so frustrated.

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