Did they really write that??

PARENTAL EXCUSES

These are actual excuse notes from parents excusing their children from missing
school (includes original spelling):

~ My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today.
Please execute him.

~ Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

~ Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31,
32, and also 33.

~ Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out
of a tree and misplaced his hip.

~ John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

~ Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was
hurt in the growing part.

~ Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by
very close veins.

~ Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

~ Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

~ Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and
his boots leak.

~ Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

~ Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

~ I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I
don't know what size she wear.

~ Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get
the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought
it was Sunday.

~ Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her
funeral.

~ Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and
could not breed well.