2004 has been a year of ups and downs in many ways:
Emotionally, I was drained at the beginning of the year, but slowly got myself back together again; coming out of the valleys was not easy, and still is not; but I do believe I am more or less back in the light. Yes, it's still a tough memory to face, but I can at least recollect my past now with a clear-headed detachment. Experiences are nothing if we do not learn from them and distill points of learning to apply. My yesterday is nothing if I cannot apply it to my today, and use it to shape my tomorrows. In retrospect, I am glad; I can at least say that I have gone on to a new level. Without adversity, we can never grow. Reminds me of a song in Hwa Chong's repertoire: mei2 you3 pu4 bu4 yu3 yan2 shi2 de zu3 dang2, xi1 shui3 jiu4 mei2 you3 yue4 er3 de ge1 chang4; bu3 yuan4 tu2 zhong1 wu3 bo1 lang4 wu3 tiao2 zhan4, yu4 jing1 cuo4 zhe2, shen1 ming4 yu4 can4 lan4..
(i wish, too, that I could blog in Chinese characters.. basically translates to:
without boulders and waterfalls in the path of the stream, you wouldn't hear its melodious babble;
i don't want to live on a bed of roses, for with every challenge i face down, life becomes more exciting.)
So, snapshots of my year:
~ Learning to be very strong. Very strong indeed. Thank you, Ivory and Keqing for standing with me and being my friends in my darkest days. Simply being there and listening to me was good enough. Thank you too to all those who counselled me and helped me get back on my feet.. Beatrice, Wenhui, Brother Alex, Sister Adeline, Evelyn, Pst CK and Ryan. It has not been an easy journey, but I am glad to say I've learnt and moved on with all your help and guidance.
~ Coming into W110/E206/W285 and getting to know my dearly beloved CG members better. Thank all of you so much for having me and making me feel at home. I am so blessed simply to know you guys, every single one of you has impacted me in some way, and I treasure all our times together. I'm really proud of my CG! We ROCK!
~ My darling Tiffany's wedding in March. And being a bridesmaid for the first time, but not the last. =) I love you baby! And yes, the MGS-RGS-St Marg's uniform pictures are still vivid in my mind.. How strange it is to grow up so soon. And I'm waiting eagerly for HER baby to come in May 2005. Hey hey! I'm going to be a godma soon!
~ the impact driven home that I am where I am because I am meant to make a difference there. And that this applies to school too; my career as a teacher is not simply a put-bread-on-the-table job, but a chance to impact people. To make a difference in their lives and to let my students know that I want so much more for them than to simply produce 4 'A's in their examinations. That it is in the lives of the people who have the greatest need that I can make the greatest difference. Thank you, 03S70, S77, S78 and S7B - I hope I have made a difference to you, especially my dearly beloved 70. You will always have a special place in my heart because you're my first CT class.
~ Trip to Mongolia. What can I say? Read my past blogs for the glorious experiences!
~ Epiphany about finances. Seeing my financial condition in a whole new light; Pastor has always said that you are the slave of the man you owe money to; well, I'm currently the slave of HDB, Nissan and MOE. Oh dear. It means I cannot be free to do many things the Holy Spirit might call me to; I cannot up and leave for, say, a stint at missions. A turning point came when Pst preached about missions work; as I stood in West One, all alone, he spoke about finances holding us back from being available to answer God's call. The message was so powerful - I challenged myself: to have enough finances to pay off the loan on my house and car by the time I finish my MOE bond, which is mid 2006. Sounds daunting, huh? Well, ALL THINGS are POSSIBLE to HIM WHO BELIEVES. I'm going to trust God and believe for my breakthrough. NOW! Amen!
And in true, time-honoured fashion, going with the season of the year, it's time for my New Year's resolutions to appear. Though I haven't quite set out my action plan, time frame and all the specifics yet, I do know what I hope to acheive in this year:
Ministry wise - To endeavour to train up more leaders; it's so true that a leader cannot only train people to follow him, but a leader must train people to replace him. It is imperative to do so, because otherwise one can never move on. As an usher, I need to improve myself too - and everything stems from attitude. I repeat my mantra for 2005: Let me continually strive for a better attitude.
Spiritually wise - to walk ever closer with God, and lean on Him for strength day by day. Still refining this part - it's so hard to put into tangibles!
At work - to be a better teacher, to cater to all students in my various classes in various ways, and above all to believe in them and love them no matter what and make sure they know that. Frankly, as I've said again and again, most students in my school (Hwa Chong JUNIOR COLLEGE, I refuse "institution") will make it through the A levels whether or not I am a good content-deliverer; that is simply their calibre. I believe that my true calling in this place is to be a help and a guide to those students who have gotten lost or confused somewhere along the way, because it is in their lives that I can truly make a difference. Oh man, so hair-tearing isn't it! Yes, but what to do? UCCs follow me wherever I go! Ha!
For my character - to be a stronger, more determined person; more focused, and less easily waylaid by stray thoughts and ugly feelings. To be always meek, always gentle of spirit, and always humble. To let love be my greatest aim in all my relationships with people, and to never allow pride, but to always esteem others better than myself. To learn to be at peace always.
".. For I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound.. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
Philippians 4:11-13
Physically - the easiest to measure - to go gymming! Work myself into a toned state, and lose another *hopes* 5-8kg. Yay.
Tata, for I have class now. The beginning of my plans can be put into action..
No comments:
Post a Comment