Introduction
The ability to empathize is one of the most essential skills for leading a fulfilling and meaningful life. Empathy is defined as the ability to identify with and understand the feelings, cicumstances, and motives of another person. People who are empathetic are able to see things from another's perspective and figure out what makes people tick. Empathetic people also are better at reacting appropriately in varied social situations, and because of this others tend to be very comfortable in their presence.
If you don't believe that being empathetic is extremely important, take a moment to consider the opposite. Not being empathetic would mean not being accepting of other's opinions, not being understanding about the hardships of others, and generally being in the dark about the way other people feel. Would you want to be friends, colleagues, a partner, or otherwise associate with someone who could not understand where you were coming from, or was constantly judging you for acting in a way different from his or her own? The resounding answer the vast majority of people would give is "NO!"
Human beings have an innate desire to feel socially accepted and understood. That is where we derive our confidence, sense of self, and feeling of being connected. Empathy is to thank for such positive connections. The following is an interpretation of your Empathy Quotient.
Graphic Results
score = 96
Interpretation
Your Empathy Quotient is extremely high. Individuals in this range are able to recognize the emotions of others very well and understand the underlying motivation behind their actions. You are capable of putting yourself in other people's shoes and seeing their particular perspectives, which is an essential skill for creating satisfying and meaningful human interaction. Your friends and family count on you to understand where they are coming from and this creates a kind of unspoken bond. You are able to get along with people from all different backgrounds and your friend base likely reflects this. You are open-minded when it comes to other's actions - you don't fall victim to making snap judgments. You tend to see both sides of a story and the shades of gray in between, and as a result, are able to give people a sense of perspective when they can't understand a situation.
Your high level of empathy likely makes you a magnet to those seeking advice. They know that you are always there to lend an ear and that you have insight into problems and possible solutions. You are very flexible in your thinking and don't resort to dogma when considering the ways of another culture or group of people. Your open-mindedness and ability to empathize are truly outstanding. If you ever feel yourself slipping in this respect, refer to the advice section below for helpful reminders.
Advice & Tips
Empathy Advice, Tips, and Exercises
Here are some ways anyone can increase their empathy quotient:
Pay attention to how others are reacting, and what they are communicating to you. Putting in the extra effort to really listen and observe can teach you a lot about human interaction and emotions.
While you certainly can't fake empathy, you can increase your connection to other people by truly listening and trying to put yourself in their shoes.
Build meaningful relationships that teach you about human nature.
If you're not sure how someone is feeling, ask for clarification (if it's appropriate); a simple "How are you feeling?" or "Could you explain your perspective to me?" might do the trick.
Put aside your own preoccupations to consider what might be going through other people's minds in different situations. Ask yourself how you would feel in that person's place. In every situation, there are several perspectives. Try to identify at least 2 or 3 different ways to look at it.
Put empathy in action. Get involved in helping people in some way (e.g. volunteering); the closer you get to a situation, the more you should realize the difficulties others might be facing.
Pay close attention to body language and facial expressions. Although there are some bodily cues nearly everyone gives to show an emotion, every individual has their own particular ways to express certain feelings. It may feel overwhelming to learn to interpret everyone's idiosyncrasies in your life, so start off slow and observe each person when you can.
Ask people for clarification. If can't tell whether your friend is expressing disbelief or distaste when s/he rolls his or her eyes, just ask.
Give your time to others. It is impossible to increase your ability to empathize if you're totally self-absorbed. The best way to learn is to spend time with others and practice active listening.
Take your time when deciding how to respond to emotional topics. Don't allow yourself to 'fly off the handle' or make a snide remark when someone says something you don't agree with. Think about what led this person to have a different opinion than you, and respond only after taking time to figure out how others are likely to interpret your words and actions.
Play devil's advocate to your own beliefs. This exercise can be initially emotionally painful, but will help your empathy grow immensely. Take time to think about what it is you believe in. Now think about people that you very much disagree with or dislike. Write down why it is that you and these people are in disharmony. For each point you make, write an explanation for why this person or group of people would feel differently than you do. Try your best not to resort to juvenile explanations like "This person feels this way because s/he is an idiot" or "These people do this because they are immoral." Making such statements discourages empathy and encourages blind prejudice.
Go out on a limb and ask questions of people that you think you know the answers to. You will likely be surprised at what you find.
Cultivate the golden rule - don't do anything to others that you would not want them to do to you.
If you are having a hard time figuring out what makes someone act a certain way, engage in a little mental role-playing. Assume you are this person, connect all the pieces that you know about him or her, and see if you can rationalize their behavior. If you can't do this, you likely don't know enough about him or her to know why s/he is acting a certain way. Give people the benefit of the doubt that they act on their reasons and beliefs, not out of taking pleasure in perversity.
Expose yourself to a viewpoint or situation that you've been hesitant to explore or have been purposefully ignoring. If issues such as the AIDS crisis, global warming, animal cruelty, or world hunger (just to name a few), has you running the other direction, swallow your pride and fear and educate yourself about an issue. Take one at a time and explore them. You will no doubt come out of the experience more aware and empathetic than when you began.
Above all else, keep in mind that increasing your ability to empathize will add great richness and meaning to your life. Being able to connect yourself to and understand the emotions of others will add depth and insight to your relationships to others, as well as give you a better grasp on overall human nature.
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